Roar in the Afterglow

I wanted to write something about friendships gone lost from what they used to be or those friendships that now show up as likes and comments but that where never really found in real life due to lack of time and placing but that could have been something if we and I had been confident and aware enough to do something about it back then. I wanted to write about the human bonds that appear on the light up wall on our screen, but often get lost and only stay with us as a distant memory. I wanted to write something to the dear people that I've meet, built a bond with and lost contact with as lives changed and years rolled on, as well as the people I only met halfway, the one I met at that party, or who once took a class with me, those who shared something that touched me deeply, those who continue to inspire me, those I see and bond with on my social feed. I want to get past the hurdle of simply saying`; `-hey, you've been on my mind' I want to gather courage to tell tho

Had life in your late -30s been like this ? Even before and without a global pandemic ? Perhaps it had, only now it is magnified, and drawn out..loneliness, livingaloneliness, ..gettingthatlastyearbeforethirtiness, ...onlypineconeinthecityness, ...boyfriendsstuckacrosstheatlanticness, ...childlessness.., leftbehindinlifeness..., ...fillingyourneedforbackpackbeforechildrenness..., cancelledhobbyness, ...bikingfromworktokeepactiveness, bakinga4thpiewhilewatingness..., sexlessness., ..........workingasmanyshiftsasyoucantopassthetimeeveniftherebarelyisanyness, (Ok I Am done now..)  Waiting for stuff to happen (for what exactly I still do not know) when nothing can be planned and most activities are or will be cancelled anyway- and you have no-one to take that deep breath with and enjoy a nice chilled Aperol spritz with in the garden or on the balcony, it is a mellow time to pass. It all gets kind of into slow motion, sleepy, like soon it will be November, but the days are moving slower t

I was meant to write something else, but I simply could not before getting this off my chest. For the past two days my mind has gone back to the student parties, dinners, or "Sits" as we call them (sitting down around long tables and singing traditional and re-made drinking songs over a 3 course dinner). And no, it is not the party I thought about- but an incident that kept recurring if you happened to sit at "that table", And like so many other girls who attended each month, I as well had my fare share a few times.. got disgusted, laughed it away, and got slightly happier and a less turned stomach whenever I could find my escape to another conversation. It was a conversation, or a monologue really, one that should never have taken place, or maybe it is better that it did- because now (still years after) we knew which doctors to avoid once they graduate. He and his friend, one always popping in their head to help out with the other ones monologue- that he so ea