Roar in the Afterglow

I am longing for the unconventional. The out of the box, the unknown. Life is too short, the world is too remarkable and you are too precious to confide to a life of 'stay put because what if in 20 years..' I choose to turn around the worry this way.. if your heart desires to explore.. what will you be able to tell it 20 years from now ?  I follow my late grandpas footsteps, a forever explorer (adventurer, project worker, priest and sailor). I also have plenty of globally minded family friends as reference, who work with everything from garbage collection/truck driving, nursing, flight attendant, sailor, teaching, NGO peace-projects to being an ambassador, and an ever adventuring godfather who has sailed around the world a few times, chooses to rent, owns a cottage and is about to row the Atlantic ocean. There are many ways to build an international lifestyle. You can live your life "3 years here, 3 years there" or something of a more mixed divide, this especially if ...

I wanted to write down something about self perception. How our looks, physical strength and the way we sound and come across to others, affect the way we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves. My mission here was not to write about the make-up on our face or that eye catching dress we could wear. But rather the people...humans we are. The ones we will always be. For a long time I had quite a low confidence. That low confidence came from how I perceived myself, and I still struggle with that from time to time. You see I knew I was small, short, clumsy, sometimes a bit chubby (boys nickname for me in Pre-school was Christmas ham) and later just small as a twig. I had struggles in finding that voice inside, and when I did I was afraid that that voice was too big- not suitable to this body of mine. I was afraid of being too loud.. too annoying.. I became quiet...awkward... and at moments invisible trying to keep the awkwardness away from daylight. Sometimes it sprang...

I wanted to write down something about turning 26, or getting a year older once again, seemed like an natural squeal to my post 25 from last year. Much has happened, most of which I wrote about here before, so I am going to keep this one short. The biggest lesson, the class I have taken and followed before, but now got even stronger material for, or emotional assurance even, is that I do not have to have all pieces together right away. In fact there are a lot of things I could do or never end up doing and I would still find that most important thing called happiness in each and every day.  There are always certain things we would like to accomplish, before a certain age, before we are too old. But is there really such a thing, and by looking above and beyond these limits, let our own true story unfold. I guess my point is this, your life doesn't have to be according to the book, you can write your own.  There is always new unwritten pages, and only you can decide...

I felt like I had lost everything I was, and every good part that I once had in my life. If I still had some of them, I had lost touch to them. I was lost. How should I start to find my way again ? Who was I ? What did I want in my life ? I did something.. I wrote a list, a list of big and smaller things, the tiniest things to remember, I guess we could call them "feel-good and finding your way to your own life things ".  I wrote it at my parents summer place, just a week after I left him. The list included everything from examples of new hobbies, friends to reconnect and get in touch with, new methods to positive thinking  and those small moments that you need to remember to take for yourself. Here is an example of what it looked like: - Become a member of your Student Nation/ Organisation - Redecorate your apartment (get rid of old bed, refurnish, make it yours) - Ask how N is doing, visit her back home ? - Remember to be your own best friend - Catch up with J,...