Roar in the Afterglow

In the wonderful world of dating are you also one who "tryes too hard" give's a 110% and is always understanding.. even to the point that the offers you make of "staying around" or adapting to their busy lifestyle and priorities, as well as your mental " If I just"- and "As long as I don´t"-battle are taking over all the good sides of you, your sanity, wellbeing, life.. The wonderfully sparkly and freely-breathing and life-exploring human being that you are ? Do you get sucked in and stuck by your own will-power and hope ? It is okey to give it your all, don't ever feel bad for that. .... but when you start to feel yourself hitting the walls of the box you both now are in- (or maybe you ar on the outside.. just stuck in the thought of helping him find his way out) desperatly trying to let some sunligt in.. and they're not helping (Even after you clearly communicated what you want- p.s. leave the "hint-throwing" for some

I'm not quite sure on what I want to write today, but feelings as usual have been running through me like anxious ants and greater understanding butterflies so I felt like It was just as well to put pen to paper (or well, finger to keyboard to be less poetic and true.. and also yes I can only write with one). I´ve thought about a person (oh you know how it is, boy meets girl.. butterflies, they boy asks if she wants kids, her head pictures a Volvo and his fam on a Sunday post engagement stroll in lake district.. , they boy is flaky, girl kind of knows why, cares anyway) the things is I can't shake it of my mind that at one point he really cared-you know, as much as he had the will to show it at that point, and then I told him I might be leaving the country, was away for the summer- we should just be friends for now he said. I announce I´m coming back and staying, he gets all flirty, agrees to go on an excursion to a lake with me, wonders what day I`m here (well, I`m here now.