Roar in the Afterglow

What does true friendship mean to you ? To me it means that they will dance with you in any room like no one is watching (even though there might be other people around who would roll their eyes, feel second hand embarrassment or share and whisper into the rooms you move through). This dancing is of course a metaphor (but doesn't have to be), it could be referring to opening up, talking deep, listening wholeheartedly to both of your biggest worries or biggest dreams- it does not matter if those around do not think that deep- with me you can be you at any time any place, and I hope I can be that with you too. That is what true friendship means to me. We can laugh out loud or cry if we need to, be  as we are in that moment in time, in good and bad (as long as we work on ourselves, and hold ourselves, and each-other accountable) no-one is left (out of embarrassment) aside. That is a word that true friendship leaves behind.  When I was a child I was often embarrassed of myself, I ...

I have a history of being a pushover. As a child I had a habit of letting other kids decide over me (or well boss me around), ex. regarding what part oh what character I should be in a fantasy play, and I was just happy to be allowed to even be apart of the thing, to not be left aside. As a teenager that continued, I was glad to just be taken with, to not be left alone. I remember a specific incidence (at a scouts camp actually) where my teammates, decided that we should cheat in a competition task where the leader did not play a big part, by telling the others that I was the group leader since I was the weakly talented one....the only task my teammates gave me during that day long competition was to keep a track of time. I was happy just to get to be with them, that the allowed me to be there, but within me, as so many other times, it did hurt, I just did not say anything and did my best to bury those feelings... well, we ended up winning that competition, but the way to do that w...