I have a history of being a pushover.
As a child I had a habit of letting other kids decide over me (or well boss me around), ex. regarding what part oh what character I should be in a fantasy play, and I was just happy to be allowed to even be apart of the thing, to not be left aside.
As a teenager that continued, I was glad to just be taken with, to not be left alone.I remember a specific incidence (at a scouts camp actually) where my teammates, decided that we should cheat in a competition task where the leader didn't play a big part, by telling the others that I was the group leader since I was the weakly talented one....the only task my teammates gave me during that day long competition was to keep a track of time. I was happy just to get to be with them,that the allowed me to be there, but within me, as so many other times, it did hurt, I just didn't say anything and did my best to bury those feelings... well, we ended up winning that competition, but the way to do that was wrong, cheating was one part of that but to not show acceptance of all parts through it all hurt more.
Several times I've been waiting, following and keeping my friends company for hours while they do all their tasks out on the town, but I don't say a word when they loose patience to do the same for me after 20 minutes.
I will always meet my friends wherever they need me,and I would walk far if I had to, because that's how much all those important people in my life mean to me and simply because that's the kind of friend I am, and promise to always be.
As I child I wanted to be apart, to not be left alone. But the truth is, as I learnt later in life, that it hurts more to be apart of something where your being used, feel invisible and not accepted, then it hurts to be alone.
I am the kind of friend who will keep you company just to see you, to be with you. But as I grown older I realised how important it is to be met half way. You are not supposed to be a doormat, a pushover or invisible and I will no longer let myself be. True friends will see you and they are the ones that are worth your time and energy.
You are just as important as everyone else around you, remember that <3
As a child I had a habit of letting other kids decide over me (or well boss me around), ex. regarding what part oh what character I should be in a fantasy play, and I was just happy to be allowed to even be apart of the thing, to not be left aside.
As a teenager that continued, I was glad to just be taken with, to not be left alone.I remember a specific incidence (at a scouts camp actually) where my teammates, decided that we should cheat in a competition task where the leader didn't play a big part, by telling the others that I was the group leader since I was the weakly talented one....the only task my teammates gave me during that day long competition was to keep a track of time. I was happy just to get to be with them,that the allowed me to be there, but within me, as so many other times, it did hurt, I just didn't say anything and did my best to bury those feelings... well, we ended up winning that competition, but the way to do that was wrong, cheating was one part of that but to not show acceptance of all parts through it all hurt more.
Several times I've been waiting, following and keeping my friends company for hours while they do all their tasks out on the town, but I don't say a word when they loose patience to do the same for me after 20 minutes.
I will always meet my friends wherever they need me,and I would walk far if I had to, because that's how much all those important people in my life mean to me and simply because that's the kind of friend I am, and promise to always be.
As I child I wanted to be apart, to not be left alone. But the truth is, as I learnt later in life, that it hurts more to be apart of something where your being used, feel invisible and not accepted, then it hurts to be alone.
I am the kind of friend who will keep you company just to see you, to be with you. But as I grown older I realised how important it is to be met half way. You are not supposed to be a doormat, a pushover or invisible and I will no longer let myself be. True friends will see you and they are the ones that are worth your time and energy.
You are just as important as everyone else around you, remember that <3
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