Roar in the Afterglow

As we celebrate this merry Christmas, try to remember that it is different for all. Not everyone has the grocery store commercial family and close knit jolly relatives. Not everyone looks forward to Christmas the same.  There are those with the inappropriately handsy uncle or cousin, there are eyes that look away and truths that are not allowed to be said; self-protection that is not appreciated to be expressed. There are those with racist or homophobic parents, a yelling father with too much to drink, an angry stressful mother, there are those who always experienced Christmas as a showcase of silverware and anxious hold of breath, there are homes where the children's voices and emotions were never met- as long as the tree is symmetric and perfect on all sides, they do not notice when you sit in the bathroom every year and hide.  There are those who left gladly, and only come for a quick visit when they feel comfortable and emotionally safe, there are those who now post-childh...

I wanted to write something about going on adventures of your own- even after you found someone who would walk there beside you to any  corner of the world. Now, this might not fit everyone's idea of a relationship- but it is an important value and hope in mine. With so much time spent walking this earth solo, making plans and taking planes, hikes- breathing out after a past I left behind- I have grown fond of this feeling- the freedom, the time to myself. It is a part of me I will always need- a hug that no one else could give.  Being someones companion- team- does not always mean walking with you, beside you- literary. It is just as much about giving space- showing understanding. Be happy for the other part going out there in the world and gaining the strength and peace that they need. And I guess in a lot of ways staying sane for themselves- and through that for others. Understanding that, is love.  So, there will be times when I need me, breath in, remind myself tha...

Follow kindness,  it really is that simple.  sometimes when you're captured by the mess of usual choices they are standing right there, you only start to notice them when you step out and see it clear.  a space to breathe was the first, joy was the second, now I'm gratefully dancing and tapping my feet, you ask me if I'm cold and how many movements I can do to this beat.  Endless I tell you, you see kindness was the key, It lifted me up to where I deserve to be.  - to my dads golden advice- 

Dear men and boys out there, who took the courage to say I will, it is wonderful that you want to show us what examples you will be. And those few of you who said you have, thank you for your honesty- it is heartwarming to see that you now have grown, so that whenever we are around you we can feel safe, respected and free. I know it is not all, but I believe there are some, who search for applause and appraisal for what they now have become. That you now realized something that was there all along it was there in the looks, attitudes, song and talks, you just did not do anything about it that is all. For something that should have been a given, you now choose to see the truth. to look it straight in the eye, and remind yourself that this person will not be you. And yes you are wonderful lads, and I wish more than anything that your example will lay down a path, so that even those still in denial can pick up their act. But I will not say thank you, as that would be like gi...

Fall in love with the feeling of real, of being right where you stand, visible, heard, here. Recognize when You are a part of  a dialog you are invited to. Recognize when you feel whole, Recognize when you get to stay this way, when no one makes your self loose touch. I promised myself a long time ago to never fall for what I could feel was sinking me, but about a year ago, there I went again, listened, got lost, listened again, but not to myself. He could not see me since the fence of himself was too high, he only saw him, and I could feel me being left behind. I remember a time inside a gallery on a summer sunny day. I ran out to the window with the biggest view of the open sea and I remember saying now that is what real art is to me. Some weeks later, when I was still trying to understand  his ways, I could feel myself not being in touch with where and who I am. I felt an urge to run out to the sea. I took of my shoes and stood in the waves, he called me crazy, I laughed...

Why are subjects like mental health and therapy such a big Taboo ? I read an article in the University Paper about struggling with mental health and being afraid to talk about it to your friends, what if someone found out, how would they look at me then ? I believe that many of us struggle with something mental, or have or will at some point in our life. We all go through things in  life and we all have a mentality, we are all human and humans are fragile. And what about the modern society, what its doing to us; daily pressure to give out a certain look of a happy perfect life and yet when we have that moment we want to share, we forget to live in it, to actually be with them. And what about the stress ? I think we can all agree that every single one of us can easily fall apart. So why could not we just talk about it more openly ? Think about it, we say that true beauty comes from the inside, we all (well almost all of us) work on the outside to look good and sometimes some o...