Roar in the Afterglow

........I should .......... As they would....... ....they look at me........ ....What do they see....?... What do I see ?.. Do I see me ? The expectations I picture and feel, they are one at a time tripping over me.  Like heavy whispers, suggestions, demands.. But nothing expected, just pre-made plans. What if all I want for a moment is to stand and breathe, mention an idea and the next morning it changed suddenly,  Would you still understand and look proudly at me, Im finding myself, that is my dream. Through all my life I thought- what do you see, will you be proud of me? But these bricks are now changing you see. Its time that I took pride in simply being me, its the part that so many of us forget,  all so suddenly.  ----- Cake Yes my mind does change, and so does my mood.  There are times Im upset, restless, cant decide between gym or ´cake for one´ for food. sometimes that is my mood.  Damn social media what did you do. So many non- expe

A Little poem I wrote;  in accordance with  Little Sparrow  and  To learn to see all of you with new eyes (self perception after leaving an abusive relationship) Awkward laugh, skinny arms or floppy belly. Every inch, every sounds. - This story, I am telling It's a part of me. It's who I am. Through every hurdle they held my hand. So I will not hide, put walk forward with pride, To every single part, I will be kind. 

I wanted to write something short about living in another language. This might not hit home for everyone, but if not solidarity (which is the hope behind most of what I write), maybe this might offer some insight for those who haven't been there, or for those who only speak one language and never been faced with this kind of adaption. Do you remember when you where 13 or 14 years old, trying to take part in the adults discussions, or keep track, understand... I mean I know the jokes weren't probably of your highest interest, but imagine you wanted to understand? Get the Banter, Got the Pun? Non Pun intended.. god I still can't wrap my head around what that means.. Anyway...Imagine....There you are.. at 13 years old.. trying to understand business.. the terms, imagine that your completely new to this world.. and then you are expected to.. and try your best, daily. to juggle the words. That's what it feels like, most of the time, I know this writing, when theres no hu

I'm sitting here on the slightly tilted red sofa in a somewhat uncomfortable position while trying to keep my feet from turning into ice-blocks. I'm still in my office wear (worried that my pajamas might be too cold) as the winter weather (not beasty cold for me- just for London) is pushing it's way through the one layered windows. Now.. you might be wondering... what is a single hip young (hah..) woman doing in her pajamas at 7 pm on a Thursday?  (... or maybe you won't -as you're just like me..) It took some time for me to figure out what I wanted to say here, and how I wanted to say it. But my main topic was this; the imagined shadow that a non- existing love-life puts on all the other aspects of your life, when 1 + 0 +1= 0. Again, love is found all around (remember that) and these thought are mostly based on my own coconut, all people think and feel differently. But I do feel lonely alot of times, secretly and unknowingly demeaning other aspects of my life,