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Do not stay in a box you´ve outgrown- It is not your box to stay in

In the wonderful world of dating are you also one who "tryes too hard" give's a 110% and is always understanding.. even to the point that the offers you make of "staying around" or adapting to their busy lifestyle and priorities, as well as your mental " If I just"- and "As long as I don´t"-battle are taking over all the good sides of you, your sanity, wellbeing, life.. The wonderfully sparkly and freely-breathing and life-exploring human being that you are ? Do you get sucked in and stuck by your own will-power and hope ?

It is okey to give it your all, don't ever feel bad for that.

.... but when you start to feel yourself hitting the walls of the box you both now are in- (or maybe you ar on the outside.. just stuck in the thought of helping him find his way out) desperatly trying to let some sunligt in.. and they're not helping (Even after you clearly communicated what you want- p.s. leave the "hint-throwing" for something else- men tend to be too simple to get those).
Know when to leave- it is not your box to crack open, and you have the whole world to enjoy and one life to enjoy it in.
Do not force yourself in boxes you've outgrown. And even at lonely times when you feel desperate, like last wednesday....- skip anything that just says "wrong" on those dating profiles- for me at least- if we get down to the root of where I (and I guess most) hope and intend this love searching to lead.... I want the right thing, the values, the safety, the man who will look at you with love and pride (and a smile), even if your resembling a potato.

I would rather raise a family on your own then with someone wrong.

And if you notice things later (as in during dating or when you possibly created a home)..and things don´t change. Live your life- walk away. Better with sane and happy parents for the possible kids anyway. 

It is still (or should be once I once again get to my senses) an easy move for me, I am only in square 1, now further steps have been taken so far (in 4 years) if something doesn´t feel right, and I do not get what i deserve- I can simply walk off and leave. I will get out there and see the world around me.

I will look for sunlight, absorb all there is to see.
Uncertainty, life in the same heartbreak and waiting games are simply not for me. No longer.

This goes to the moment I saw a Highland cow through the bus window as I was leaving my solo-exploration trip. I got to see one- after all. Thoughts switched from slightly melancholic to a burts of sun (and I think I giggled.. I've never been this excited about kettle before)- If I keep rolling on my own path, little miracles will come.


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