Skip to main content

Wide Awake


How it all comes back to my mind once I meet someone. The reminder, the flashbacks, the worry, it is not him in particular, but it is the fear. The fear that there at some point will be a one eighty turn in their ways, that you do not know what awaits around the corner, but the thing is you will never know if you let that fear take over. Fear can give you guidance, it can warn you, but do not let it control you. And no matter how hopeless it may seem, that we are always let down when we just given it one more go, do not worry, there are good things out there, Even in my own state of slight constant doubt and worry, I believe. Non of us should ever stop doing that.


I have learned the hard way to be aware of what is around me, where I am and where I am heading. Time gives trust and too soon pushes get me to start backing.

So do not worry (especially mom), I have lost my blue eyes and now I see my surroundings with my own, but with the backpack with all the lessons I have learned to know- I am walking thoughtfully ahead into the unknown.

I woke up the day I felt my Afterglow, and after all the turns I am Wide Awake,
I promise, I do know 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

An intuitive journey back to my solo travels

For the past few years I have had a fallback in writing. A lack of inspiration and a feeling that I had already written about "it all", or the things I really wanted to say at least. Perhaps it is the SSRI medication that for the past 4 years have been numbing (in a good way) my anxiety- but also keeping my head away from mind loops, or perhaps I just got to the end of it- let out all the biggest of Roars.  But, whatever it is that has made me write less, I will make sure to not stop completely. I do enjoy this too after all, it is not only an outlet for something anxious, it was always supposed to be more than that. Something to lift spirits, bright up days, encourage others to live (or continue too) live their best and most for-filling lives. So, I decided to go through my solo travels, one by one. Because what might not have been obvious through these text through the years (that is- mainly from the summer of 2016 forwards), is that I went on adventures, on my own (mostly)...
Post a Comment
Read more

Shine on bright (about mistakes, self-doubt, kindness and curiosity)

Live with all your heart,  and never feel ashamed for trying every mistake, has a silver lining be grateful for all that you may learn Life is too short to doubt every move, every turn Listen, and never be ashamed of being true Stay curious, humble, and always be you respect yourself and those around you,  - thank them for their honesty too Life is meant for living, so never dim your light Pause in your steps,  breathe and shine on bright. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Unhinged

Forgive yourself, lets start with that.  Anxiety can (and will) at times make us act all out of whack I used to pray; do not do this to me again.  Whatever you do- do not let me stumble off towards the edge. But you will stumble, that is a fact, so forgive yourself for falling way off track.  Find those around you who agree to communicate- not say what they do not mean and then leave the truth unsaid-causing you to sprint towards the edge. The edge gave you answers, truths that were left unsaid. It extinguished the feeling of hopelessness.  The what ifs, whys and fear of losing the shots you do not take, the ticking construct of the little time that is left.  Tick-tock, knock-knock and you find yourself unhinged.  Tick-tock, knock-knock you realize the spin.  Tick-tock, knock-knock, mortification creeping in.  Deep breaths darling You are not mad Deep breaths darling The right people will want to understand Deep breaths darling I will hold your ha...
Post a Comment
Read more