Skip to main content

Missing the hugs of mother nature


The last days I have been feeling a bit down, restless, but without energy to apparently do much about it, and somehow stuck, I have tried to convince myself that it is probably that dear PMS that is rocking my world again, but I do not know, I think it is something else too.

Maybe I am feeling home sick? I thought about that too, all those people, and all that what I am used to, our little cultural things, the humor, the duck-pond that is like nowhere else..

.... And yes, I miss that, but that has been my life for so long, and for many parts, at least when it comes to the study life I have gotten older, old.. and so many of my fellow previous graduate friends back there are spread out, physically and calendar wise, and in a lot of ways I knew that for a long time I had needed something new in my life, and I still do,
so I am happy to be here, lucky, which I remind myself of even during days like these.

So homesick, yes, but there is another, bigger, yet more subtle element to it, something I can feel in my bones that is causing this restlessness and feeling of being stuck. The longing to always be close nature, and I do not mean parks or man made beaches;

The quiet, the small places, the secluded, the water, the sea, the pine-trees and birch growing over a moss covered rock, embraced by the small waves, the quiet following of the birds, the freedom to take of your rain-boots, the dipping of the toes in any weather and the pine-cones that now float beneath your feat.
    .... Where I have lived, where I have been brought up, there has always been water, there has always been the sea. I know it sounds ridiculous, considering that even now it is only a bus-ride away, but here the sea is further, I can not run to catch my breath somewhere close to mother nature, this campus is like a brick of monopoly, big,  quite squared and wherever you turn it all looks the same. I miss the small paths where the beginning does not show the end right away.

I realize how lucky I am to have been brought up somewhere so far out there, And even then in that city, the nature is still always so close.

I miss home, I miss the air, I miss the sound of nature in my ear, I am not a big city girl and I will never be, but for now let us see where this world will take me.

       

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Are you not lonely ? (and my stay in a small bothy at the Isle of Canna)

Loneliness for me is a common feeling while travelling solo, don't think (when you are following my adventures on social media) that I am immune to it. I like the solitude at times, and it builds a stronger relationship with myself, to do this on my own that is, but I often wish I had found my companion.  I keep turning every rock, stair into wells to see a reflection next to me, stay open minded and socialise at home. I wander to all corners of the world, I am on all the apps- talk to locals. I am not shy. But so far he has not been found. I have (in moments of hilarious lighthearted desperation) even tried to go back in time Outlander style, if he is not in 2024, maybe in 1878. Perhaps a man from the Bridgerton era. Times are tough, and there are not plenty of available healthy mature fish in the sea, perhaps an old tire, but fish- well most of them have been caught by now, or they were let back into the sea for a reason. The trash never even made it to shore, people do not want ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Little Sparrow (about self perception)

I wanted to write down something about self perception. How our looks, physical strength and the way we sound and come across to others, affect the way we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves. My mission here was not to write about the make-up on our face or that eye catching dress we could wear. But rather the people...humans we are. The ones we will always be. For a long time I had quite a low confidence. That low confidence came from how I perceived myself, and I still struggle with that from time to time. You see I knew I was small, short, clumsy, sometimes a bit chubby (boys nickname for me in Pre-school was Christmas ham) and later just small as a twig. I had struggles in finding that voice inside, and when I did I was afraid that that voice was too big- not suitable to this body of mine. I was afraid of being too loud.. too annoying.. I became quiet...awkward... and at moments invisible trying to keep the awkwardness away from daylight. Sometimes it sprang...
Post a Comment
Read more

To all my busy friends, show up in my life too- it matters

I would run cartwheels right where I stood if you showed up at my doorstep, if you suddenly sat in the audience during my Indian dance or Improv theater performance.  I would remember it forever if you showed up at the airport to say goodbye for now or welcome back,  I would love for you to ask me where in the world I am at.  I would love for you to reach out to me and ask us to read the same book simultaneously and then meet over coffee to share our thoughts, It does not take much time out of your schedule or much effort of sorts, just a suggestion, a thought.  I would love to go out for a joint run or jog, maybe for once right here in my hood- you could use my studio apartments little one person shower,  My home, my little wonderful life- You know you are welcome here too.  Meet me in my life, see where I live and what I do, it might not be marriage and children, or a big suburban house with a yard, but it is me, your friend- still hanging on at the other...
Post a Comment
Read more