Maybe I am feeling home sick? I thought about that too, all those people, and all that what I am used to, our little cultural things, the humor, the duck-pond that is like nowhere else..
.... And yes, I miss that, but that has been my life for so long, and for many parts, at least when it comes to the study life I have gotten older, old.. and so many of my fellow previous graduate friends back there are spread out, physically and calendar wise, and in a lot of ways I knew that for a long time I had needed something new in my life, and I still do,
so I am happy to be here, lucky, which I remind myself of even during days like these.
So homesick, yes, but there is another, bigger, yet more subtle element to it, something I can feel in my bones that is causing this restlessness and feeling of being stuck. The longing to always be close nature, and I do not mean parks or man made beaches;
The quiet, the small places, the secluded, the water, the sea, the pine-trees and birch growing over a moss covered rock, embraced by the small waves, the quiet following of the birds, the freedom to take of your rain-boots, the dipping of the toes in any weather and the pine-cones that now float beneath your feat.
.... Where I have lived, where I have been brought up, there has always been water, there has always been the sea. I know it sounds ridiculous, considering that even now it is only a bus-ride away, but here the sea is further, I can not run to catch my breath somewhere close to mother nature, this campus is like a brick of monopoly, big, quite squared and wherever you turn it all looks the same. I miss the small paths where the beginning does not show the end right away.
I realize how lucky I am to have been brought up somewhere so far out there, And even then in that city, the nature is still always so close.
I miss home, I miss the air, I miss the sound of nature in my ear, I am not a big city girl and I will never be, but for now let us see where this world will take me.
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