To be shaken off your course

Sometimes sweet words can make you forget, they can blind you from your course,
I thought that after deciding to be determined I would be my own boss.
But as it turns out, sometimes your heart eventually chooses to listen and at some point even fall.
I guess they where words I for so long wanted to hear, but they came too soon, too fast, too rapid, and I no longer saw clear.
But words like that need time to truly catch a meaning.
And as I stepped aside, shook off the words, and looked at it all from distance,
I remembered my promise, hugged my inner lovebird and set back the course towards that direction that again, for a while, will never be forgotten.

To every occasionally lost lovebird <3

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In a year

Do things feel like they are not going anywhere, like you are stomping your feet on the same piece of ground ? Has your heart just been broken ? Are you asking yourself; will I ever get over this.. does this pattern just repeat itself. I feel this way sometimes... stuck... in pain... in an emotional rut.. you name it....sniffling and incapable to see the light, although to be fair.. that light.. even in the darkest of times does, in small glimpses, a little here and there, make it through to reach my receptive self. But seeing the small pieces can sometimes be an exhausting process....in this piece I wanted to concentrate on something else, something bigger. The Magic in a Year. If you think back on last year.. how much has changed, how many bigger or minor heartbreaks have you concurred (and yes.. not still faced..) and how has your view on the world broadened ? How many adventures (some more sudden) has the past year taken you on ? How has your life changed within that year ? ...

Life observations

I decided to make a list of observations I made here in my little London life the past month. - Here on Stroud Green Road, Next to the Big Yellow car-wash there was an injured pigeon walking the street, a cat was chasing it. The bird could not fly and had no chance, a man came and picked up the pigeon and moved him to a safe location, my faith in humanity was restored. - I explained to the fire-alarm, (as it went off) not to worry- it was only burned toast. - If you observe me you will find that I always apologies to furniture I bump into. As I hit my toe I will most likely say something along these lines; "I'm sorry.. Ouuch.. &%#?, Ouuch.. And then I laugh or cry depending on the damage. I wonder how I would react if the door suddenly replied with a British politeness, - I am starting to realize that I am a little bit of Ted Mosby, Bridget Jones and the foxes that scream outside my window at night, non of them never give up on whatever they are fighting for. - ...

Short texts on our tilting world

Calling my bank back home in another European country to pass through SEPA payment for my public transport card here in the new but also safe and functional country where I despite the ever whispering inflation and grey employment market have managed to get some dream career related volunteership. This life is unpaid- but I have my "trustfund" (my own savings I worked for), a set of modern tools for any western situation and free libraries/workspaces for writing and life admin, free hostel leftover food and a keep-cup to sip my morning coffee from as a stroll around the city canals, its artwork and flowers. This life is safe. Be grateful for that. I try to numb myself for sanity and focus on that, as the bombs go off in other lands, as children are crying over the bodies of their loved ones, cradeling themselves with the last two limbs they have left, I try, for my own sanity, to turn off the images, focus on my coffee flavoured ice-cream from the small family busines...

Roar in the Afterglow

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