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Love, Unconditionally


This one was a hard one to write, but I felt like it was an important issue to bring up. Loving unconditionally. And I am not talking about staying in a relationship and letting them treat you badly, then you need to love yourself in the same way as I am about to write about loving someone else, see you and your well-being, what do you need to be happy? Allow yourself to let go.

I am talking about loving someone even if they did not choose you,
are you capable of that ?
Can you be happy for them even if that happiness was not with you ?

The reason I am writing this is the too familiar ´Now we are just friends but I still have feelings for them- situation´. Been there ?

Yes, it is tricky, and no I do not handle it all yogi "let go and say thank you" perfectly. I look at the pictures on that wall of other girls they hang out with, I think of all the chances there are that they meet someone else, better, prettier and more together and less anxious at that Festival their at or events with more other people with common interests as them. 

But yes, first of all you are just friends, so you should not have these thoughts and feelings, right ? Well, the truth is, most likely, if you are in this same boat as me, you do, no matter what you tell yourself or others. 
However that is okey, it would be quite unnatural if those feelings would not be there.
But for some reason or another that apple of your eye chose to walk away.

But do you truly care about them ? Do you get happy just see them happy ? Can you see happiness and love for them knowing that they get to put their time in chasing their dreams, knowing that they get to meet all kinds of interesting people with similar interests, people that are important to them. And finally, the most difficult part, can you be happy for them if they met someone else and fell in love. maybe for someone who is a better match for them than you ?

When entering that friend-zone, convincing yourself that you are fine with it and just do not want to loose them in your life, these are the questions you need to ask yourself. 

Yes, they might very well meet someone else, and no by letting them go in an all self sacrificing way when they needed space or were not interested anymore will not get them back (unless they secretly felt something too), this is not a `So that he will fall in love with me`- scheme. They have spoken their mind. 


At the same time as these are important questions you need to ask yourself when wanting to be friends with an ex or someone you dated, I find this way of thinking just as important when being in a relationship. Do we love them for the sole reason of being with us, choosing us and wanting to spend time with us, all of their time ?

Or do we see Them ?

Do we see their needs enough to be able to let them go if they needed to ? Do we let them do their thing ? Does it makes us happy to just see them happy, with their buddies, doing things that we might not have the slightest of interest or understanding for ?  Do we let them chase their dreams even if it meant spending less time with us ? And can we, if that rock hit the road, let them go completely ? 
And no I do not mean to be self sacrificing and go out to look for someone better than you for your partner (of course not) or put yourself down for turning out to not be everything they needed, you should always try to make things work (applies to both of you) if you believe there is something worth fighting for, but do we lock the other person in ? Do we give each-other the space to breathe, to feel free ? Do we love them enough to be able to let go ?

Can we love unconditionally ? 

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