Fuck it's raining- the curious case of looking at the bright side

Sometimes life gives us lemons… we stumble and hurt our knee, we did not get enough sleep, we run into our date while looking like shit, we make mistakes, were out of luck and end up missing out on something.. a fun event or that one type of cheese we had planned on buying, the sudden weather does not suit our outfit.. we get grumpy, frustrated.. angry, a small thing could set the tone for the rest of the day.

However, I wan't you to be aware that I did think about those cases where there is so much else that is lurking behind the reason for our mood. There are the cases where we are going through hardships, when the making of lemonade just really feels like a tasteless joke.

Positive thinking, when going through a tough time- that one might sometimes be a hard nut to crack. I used to struggle with this, live a life where everything seemed gray.. well it was gray.. I was gray, I guess what I am trying to say here is that sometimes this type of thinking just does not cut it, it just can't fix the situation we are in, those tough times are a even harder walnut to crack, I do know that.

We have so much more to deal with then seeing the cheap entertainment of a bird taking a dump on our head. Having been there myself I can say this- it helps when you try to see the good around, it might start of as an exercise but sooner or later you will be drawn to the things and thoughts that make you happy, and away from things and thoughts that do not. And having been in the rut.. well I guess you value laughter, see the opportunity for happiness and turn the page faster. My heart and mind have less and less time for anger, I rather spread love. Even points of hell taught us something.

But back to making lemonade, those little little rays of sun that can shine past any daily reason for grumpiness (and again, I apologize if the sentence was offensive and the choice of words sounded like an resilience verse from kindergarten. I know we are all adults here with bigger problems then rocks in our shoes). Back to how we choose to look at small pumps on the road, everyday things that might break or carry us through our day- all depending on that one decision. Often (in the western world at least) it has come to my attention that we expect so much, we are looking for perfection, convenience, we are impatient.. we get angry easily and grumble on things far longer then we should- thinking how short (and unpredictable) this life of ours really is.

Yes, the grass is often greener on someone elses side (compared to ours), and there are so many (ridiculous) first world problems that we can whine about (Even after writing this; I find myself doing that too). But are they really worth taking good energy away from us ?

If it starts to rain and I just did my hair (not that it is something I do...successfully anyway) and I am wearing that dress that I before thought about as the confidence booster that will blow that one guys mind.. and I need to head out.. or I am already out and forgot (okey I do not usually have one on me) my umbrella.. then.. it is rain, yes I will probably.. no.. most likely look like a sea monster afterwards, but so what ? There is nothing I can do about the weather.. so what is the point in putting up a grumpy mood about it. It is rain, have we forgot how much we used to love it (and the jumping in those ponds) as children. My advice is this; enter the rain with a child's happy mind.. or with a glimmer of romance in the eye… almost every love movie out there has rain in the most rememberable scenes that we singles walk around daydreaming about, So if anything.. there you go.. you are in it.

If the public transport is delayed.. well sometimes you might have to be somewhere on time (am I right Londoners ?).. and then you might have to get creative to get to your destination. But sometimes that is not an option (oh those underground strikes..), and sometimes.. you might not be in that much of a hurry after all.. but your stuck.. on a bus-stop.. somewhere in Kent..and you have to stay on that bus-stop because that bus might show up out of nowhere.. 45 minutes delayed. We can choose to sit there and curse.. or we can choose to make the best of it.. a little moment to yourself.. with yourself, living a busy lifestyle.. take a moment to listen to your thoughts, your inner voice ? Suddenly you realize that this is not so bad after all.. maybe it is a blessing in disguise ?

There are so many more or less unforeseen or not exactly delightful scenarios that could make or break our day.. yes even the following can get a uplifted twist if we really play a little with our mind. Got my period… I am not pregnant… and a reason to get to eat a lot of chocolate (winning !). I stumble and fall.. hurt my knee, get a bruise.. but hey I got up, this little warrior, was it clumsy and a bit embarrassing and someone saw it.. well good that you can give someone a laugh.. maybe it made there day a bit brighter (even though injury related humor is slightly questionable.. but that is besides the point). Find the capability to laugh to yourself.. see the funny scenes in your perfectly imperfect story. 

Coming down with a cold.. yeah they suck.. and they might not come at a good time.. but it is happening and nothing else you can do about it now then drink something warm and relax like there is no tomorrow (you know.. even if getting rid of that cold and back on your feet should be there in the distance of your mind..). Colds come and go, and they are a fact of this life as human, something I am rather then lets say a frog or chicken. Tiredness at work due to a sleepless night… well we have all been there.. and no it is not fun.. and it might be more difficult then usual to turn on the smile here, but you are there either way. So let's get through the day shall we ? And for me.. the day goes faster and I feel better if I choose to see the fun bits. This might sound a bit like a no-go, but I compete with myself.. how long can I last ? Can she do it, I'm like a formula 1 driver on low gasoline.. drink something warm.. the engine warms up.. and there she goes.. a little bit forward.. closer to the finish line…. wroommm.. And I am home.

And how about the time you go to the store to get that one new ingredient.. and you are too late, they ran out.. Night Ruined !… aaaa. No it is not, yes it sucks.. a bit.. I am sure.. but what if there is something else you could make ? Something else you never tried before, or what if this could be an opportunity to make a fun twist to that recipe ? Bend the rules, you daredevil (however keeping in mind that Clotted cream for your Scones should not be exchanged for Sour Cream..).. and as you finally got home.. managed to burn the crap out of something on that pan… ? Well shit happens. Take a Picture !

Looking like crap and end up being rejected.. well, not a keeper now is he ? Someone worth keeping should like you as you are, good you found out now- what a waste of time and brightness (yes, You) would that have been ?

Then there are those times that someone might say something that might feel a bit insensitive (and yes, true, who's to say it was not) but will you let it effect your mood throughout the day? I served an old man, a regular at the bar, he made a joke about the fact that I came from Finland and demanded (in a show monkey instructor encouraging way) that I should say things in Finnish as it sounds so silly. I felt hurt, but smiled (note costumer service situation, otherwise always say something to a bully).

- I mean yes it is funny how the language and it's words sound.. but I do miss home.. and I do not make fun of your accent or heritage.. (you British… ”Know-it-All”), was a thought that hit my head as he laughed and smiled. But instead of letting it bother my day I looked at this old man as he got away from the bar, with the tonic water he had for his sick wife, pink and with a piece of lemon.. just the way she likes it. I chose to see the love as the message.. and so that joke of his (meant in all kind banter) did no longer seem so bad.

Just as we should pick our grumbles and reasons for anger with a bit of perspective, we can also make a conscious decision to turn a bad thing into something good.

And yes, as hardships that where mentioned before, there are those dreadful things in this life on earth, mistreatment, injustice in the world, the death or sickness of a loved one.. there are reasons to be angry (although to clarify, violence seldom solves anything.. world wars and even Tom and Jerry would agree that the other one just wants to give it back 10 times harder) and there are reasons to be sad.

And do not think I am such a Marry Poppins.....sometimes things just downright suck, I get that. Then there are of-course the situations where we are to hungry (or hormonal) to fully function and think in a way we wish we could.. oh the countless hangers (hunger+ anger) I calmed down with an SOS burger or how many times I wished I could hit my head in the wall due to that monthly monster pain, where chocolate may or may not due the trick (always worth trying though). 

But, those situations set aside (or when you managed to shut down your inner nostril flaming dragon), I like to follow my own advice and be happy as much as possible, look at the bright side of things. Why waste my heart and mind and concentrate on the bad, when I could see the good in each day I have? Once stuck in the rut and getting up… even though ending up falling into the low from time to time.. I value every piece that life hits at me. As mentioned before, life is unpredictable, and if I could choose those last minutes of my life, what I felt when I took those lasts steps, I would always go for dancing in the rain.

Maybe it is silly, but what do we got to loose, if anything it is a happier life that we consciously choose.

And (I strongly believe) once we establish that set of mind and find happiness in the simplicity of feeling happy, we are drawn to those things (and perspectives) and want to find them, and away from anything that would take them away. We learn to enjoy life as it is and believing in and reaching for what it could be. Happy.

Lastly I believe we should all look back to that inner child, who's mood could be changed by anything exciting and new, a laughter or a smile. I think it would do all of us good, to go back to life's simple joys from time to time. No.. I take that back.. lets not loose them, even for a while.

And for those of you who might have wondered why I laugh to my clumsiness or when it suddenly rains; '

- In this life I can breathe again, that is the reason why I choose to be happy,

as much as I can my friend.

Thank you to my school psychologist of four years after 2010.