Skip to main content

Sundae before the cherries (the ideal man)


I wanted to write about male self acceptance, both physical and otherwise. The idea of the ideal man. Strength, a pack of six and brave as a bull.

No- humans are not Captain America- or whatever character your head might turn you too.
And. p.s I am sure this fictional character has troubles too. like unwanted body hair. or anxiety. Do not let the cameras fool you.

Neither do they look like Adonis- and if you or your friend does (or get close to it), congratulations.
it is all a pleasant bonus. 
But that's the thing- bonuses; fit, guitar skills and the energy and streak of luck to create a start up company like all the millenials- no matter how appreciated, they are just that. a cherry on top of the sundae. The Sundae being You.

Now before this gets to ice cream referenced let me rephrase that.
You are enough.
Honesty, a warm embrace. It does not matter if there is or isn't dandruff sometimes. Love handles. Oily skin or a beard that will never start growing even if you so much would want it too because History Channel Vikings said that you should have that in order to be a man.

And, You do not always have to be brave, and yes- you are allowed to struggle, even fall apart.
The reason you are or will be loved by someone, a partner, is not because of always being the big spoon, for always having the presence of a shelter.
This being a rock, is a two way stream.
And even rock-stars break.

By being your honest self- from tip to toe, you are all the rock they need.
Realness is the true sexy, honesty feels safe.

So no matter what you think of yourself,
Always stay this way.

















Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Are you not lonely ? (and my stay in a small bothy at the Isle of Canna)

Loneliness for me is a common feeling while travelling solo, don't think (when you are following my adventures on social media) that I am immune to it. I like the solitude at times, and it builds a stronger relationship with myself, to do this on my own that is, but I often wish I had found my companion.  I keep turning every rock, stair into wells to see a reflection next to me, stay open minded and socialise at home. I wander to all corners of the world, I am on all the apps- talk to locals. I am not shy. But so far he has not been found. I have (in moments of hilarious lighthearted desperation) even tried to go back in time Outlander style, if he is not in 2024, maybe in 1878. Perhaps a man from the Bridgerton era. Times are tough, and there are not plenty of available healthy mature fish in the sea, perhaps an old tire, but fish- well most of them have been caught by now, or they were let back into the sea for a reason. The trash never even made it to shore, people do not want ...

Little Sparrow (about self perception)

I wanted to write down something about self perception. How our looks, physical strength and the way we sound and come across to others, affect the way we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves. My mission here was not to write about the make-up on our face or that eye catching dress we could wear. But rather the people...humans we are. The ones we will always be. For a long time I had quite a low confidence. That low confidence came from how I perceived myself, and I still struggle with that from time to time. You see I knew I was small, short, clumsy, sometimes a bit chubby (boys nickname for me in Pre-school was Christmas ham) and later just small as a twig. I had struggles in finding that voice inside, and when I did I was afraid that that voice was too big- not suitable to this body of mine. I was afraid of being too loud.. too annoying.. I became quiet...awkward... and at moments invisible trying to keep the awkwardness away from daylight. Sometimes it sprang...

To all my busy friends, show up in my life too- it matters

I would run cartwheels right where I stood if you showed up at my doorstep, if you suddenly sat in the audience during my Indian dance or Improv theater performance.  I would remember it forever if you showed up at the airport to say goodbye for now or welcome back,  I would love for you to ask me where in the world I am at.  I would love for you to reach out to me and ask us to read the same book simultaneously and then meet over coffee to share our thoughts, It does not take much time out of your schedule or much effort of sorts, just a suggestion, a thought.  I would love to go out for a joint run or jog, maybe for once right here in my hood- you could use my studio apartments little one person shower,  My home, my little wonderful life- You know you are welcome here too.  Meet me in my life, see where I live and what I do, it might not be marriage and children, or a big suburban house with a yard, but it is me, your friend- still hanging on at the other...