It is good to argue sometimes, both in order to clear the air and get into a better place with each-other, but also to know that there is safety- a net that will catch you even if you let those mental frying pans fly.
And no- we aren't arguing right now (It may sound corny but I am the happiest I've ever been... so far). But we had, and have had (coming and going) some.. expression.. some more necessary than others.
We all have our monsters in the closet.. that eventually will need to come out and throw cookies and tantrums..and as adults, eventually calm down to a more understandable pace- And we both need to be there for one another when the cookies come out.. even if it for a while would make us want to throw our own cookies against theirs.
What I have learned- through not only my relationships and dating life- but also through family and friends, is that a relationship can become stronger once the insecurities are let out in to the open (that is if we both agree to support not only ourselves in dealing with the frustration but also the other. Be better for each-other.) If you can work it through I am pretty confident in that the relationship really is worth your love and time. It takes two. And that work requires the both of you.
I often (as when I was dating) thought about whether the ground under our feet would still stand if I expressed my thoughts- even the negative ones- are they strong enough to handle it- and will they care enough to still stay with me ? Or is all of it platonic ? A relationship (or something new and cute) on the outside- but an insecure base built with Netflix and chill on the inside, are there any pillars to fall back on ?
Will they catch you if you fall ?
Let the cookies fly out of the jar (trust me). Let yourself (and your partner) know that there is a secure base to stand on- ears and a heart to listen,
And once you've thrown the last crumb- a shoulder to rest you head on.
Have a glass of juice each and together take the crumbs to make a cake - look at it all, make it better, listen to the fears (the cookies) and re-create.
This is how good relationships are made
And no- we aren't arguing right now (It may sound corny but I am the happiest I've ever been... so far). But we had, and have had (coming and going) some.. expression.. some more necessary than others.
We all have our monsters in the closet.. that eventually will need to come out and throw cookies and tantrums..and as adults, eventually calm down to a more understandable pace- And we both need to be there for one another when the cookies come out.. even if it for a while would make us want to throw our own cookies against theirs.
What I have learned- through not only my relationships and dating life- but also through family and friends, is that a relationship can become stronger once the insecurities are let out in to the open (that is if we both agree to support not only ourselves in dealing with the frustration but also the other. Be better for each-other.) If you can work it through I am pretty confident in that the relationship really is worth your love and time. It takes two. And that work requires the both of you.
I often (as when I was dating) thought about whether the ground under our feet would still stand if I expressed my thoughts- even the negative ones- are they strong enough to handle it- and will they care enough to still stay with me ? Or is all of it platonic ? A relationship (or something new and cute) on the outside- but an insecure base built with Netflix and chill on the inside, are there any pillars to fall back on ?
Will they catch you if you fall ?
Let the cookies fly out of the jar (trust me). Let yourself (and your partner) know that there is a secure base to stand on- ears and a heart to listen,
And once you've thrown the last crumb- a shoulder to rest you head on.
Have a glass of juice each and together take the crumbs to make a cake - look at it all, make it better, listen to the fears (the cookies) and re-create.
This is how good relationships are made
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