The good argument + Update on where my life and career is at and has been for the past year

It is healthy to argue sometimes, both in order to clear the air and get into a better place with each-other, but also to know that there is safety- a net that will catch you even if you let those mental frying pans fly. Do not be afraid to share your opinion, or even to let out some steam. 

And no- we (I will get to that soon..) are not arguing right now. But we have had some pretty hefty discussions, both stemming from each of our individual anxieties. 

We all have our monsters in the closet.. that eventually need to come out and throw cookies and tantrums..and as adults, eventually calm down to a more understandable and calm pace- And we both need to be there for one another when the other one needs to be heard.. even if it for a while would make us want to throw our own cookies against theirs.

What I have learned- through not only my relationships and dating life- but also through family and friends, is that a relationship can become stronger once the insecurities are let out in to the open (that is if we both agree to support not only ourselves in dealing with the frustration but also each-other. 

I often thought about whether the ground under our feet would still stand, if I expressed my thoughts- even the negative ones- is the person I need to talk too strong enough to handle it- and will they care enough to still stay with me ? Are they whole enough to withstand without crashing into me, are they emotionally stable, secure within themselves ? Furthermore, regarding us, is the relationship platonic or built on a foundation of love and trust ?

This might take some time to figure out. Get to know them, and yourself. Have difficult discussions, try to see if the two of you can agree to disagree, how they react and how the road bends. 

Let yourself (and your partner) know that there is a secure base to stand on- ears and a heart to listen, Let the cookies fly out of the jar at times. 
And once the last crumb has been thrown-  a shoulder to lay each-others head on. Find a way to compromise. 

So together, grab two glasses of milk and take the flown out crumbs to make a cake - look at it all, make it better, listen to the fears (the cookies) and re-create.

This is how good relationships are made

+ a short update (2018/2019); 

Last fall I got to know someone, slowly. We traveled around UK during Christmas, hiked across Yorkshire moors. Since then he became my partner. 

He is from the other side of the Atlantic, so a life sized puzzle building is waiting. But together we are slowly learning all that it takes. We both have our struggles and anxieties, but we talk about it openly. 

He has flown with me back home to visit my family and roots. We have traveled along the southern coast of France, even went to Toulouse. 

He makes me laugh and is very caring and kind, he observes his surroundings and has a poets kind of mind. He is always mesmerized by the beauty of life. 

Men this old school, are hard to come by.

But I found him, on London time. 

His family is flying over here next, we will meet them at Hadrian s wall, then travel around Scotland- one big car with us all. I have never met them in person before. 

After that the plan is for the two of us to move back to my country, get Visas sorted if we stay cool headed and grounded, but also get lucky. The rest of the puzzle pieces are still a blur, but we take it one step each turn. As we walk ahead, the more we learn. 

On top of this (career wise); My 6 week summer internship at a Nordic literary agency led to a longer fully paid internship at an older and more established literary agency firm here in London. I assisted the contracts department with check-ups and information upload, learned to run Bradbury Phillips software program, covered the reception, sent mail and did some old school document filing. I have since done some minor ad hoc gigs/projects in publishing while looking for the next big move, the market for a beginner is tough right now (counting down towards Brexit, and the fact that I/we will soon move). I also have a second round at London Bookfair in my pocket, and some contacts who might be able to pull some strings. I still work at the pub (that I will miss terribly once we leave), and run around at the youth camps trying to support the teens. But as we now move, this will be the last NCS summer for me.