My grandpa passed away some years ago. For a long time during my teenage years and some into adulthood I felt light-years away from him, in our morals and teachings to follow. I was only looking at him like a priest, with his bible, a hungry need for being in the spotlight (he was a well liked radio host, preacher, author, playwright, ceremony holder, documentary film maker, pilgrim arranger, met the pope once- you name it). When I was feeling down at the age of 17 he wrote me a letter about watching more of TV7 (a local conservative evangelical christian channel), he told me it made his days brighter and that I should try it too. PS. He was not conservative, I think. We never talked much, not really. He had 3 grandchildren.
I do not think that he ever really knew me, and neither did I take my time to view him as a person behind the priesthood which he so often talked about. But when I look back on him now, as I found myself and stand supported, I can see past the job he had chosen (not that there was anything wrong with it). I can see his travelling spirit, his passion for meeting and connecting with people all across the world and cultures, even across religions. I can see his need to multitask- struggle to sit still. He was always looking for the next project or juggling multiple at once. Collecting memorabilia from his adventures.
I see our similarities more and more as I keep on growing.
I can see his love for culture. His love to create, be apart, build a legacy. As a side note he was also really interested in family trees, lineage and heritage. Finding his roots, what those people did in this world and where they were now, finding a secret older sister born out of wedlock. He wanted life to matter and puzzles to be complete (side-note, he loved jigsaws too).
But most importantly (and what this post was truly about), was that despite it all (and now that I remember little glimpses in retrospect) he had an ability to enjoy the smallest of things. He had a happy childlike mind. At least to the outside world; my grandma did later find letters that he had written in the night, he wanted to express how worried he was about his heart and little nibs he could feel, but did not want to worry her, so he wrote, and hid the letters.
He was always interested in anything that could pick up the day one bit further, the frosting on the cake. And with his positive mindset anything could be a frosting. He biked for the mail solely for the adventure (and exercise) as long as his body and mind could carry him. He was always stopping neighbors and people he knew (or anyone who seemed to need a chat). And his friends and aqueintences did the same to him. The day could always unfold at least a little adventure, big or small.
Memories were to be created.
And life was to be lived
He always had a camera around his neck and the phone in his pocket, he made albums and slide film boxes with added descriptive texts.
If anyone asked him to join them on their sailing-boat he was there at the minute they docked, and if invited for an extempore cruise he was ready in a heartbeat. You may never know, if this day would be your last, or at least the last in an still functioning body and mind. Live your life to the fullest and never let a day pass you by.
Despite the obvious ichy gene that has passed over to me, I have had to learn to slow down, sometimes life happens where you least see it. It lays in simply being present.
Therefore; one of my fondest memories of him was catching him just simply eating ice-cream at the steps to the island village shop. Old man sitting on the stone stairs, with the sun shining and him enjoying some old (ancient) favorite, like a vanilla stick or a blueberry cone. Sometimes lightly humming a tune. Like a child in the 1930´s. He had never lost him.
The gratitude in his eyes, the adventure in the moment, the smallest of things. Yet probably most important. You see if we do not find happiness in life in just "that" then were does or mind go while we are chasing?
Adventure, create, chase.. sure.
But more than that,
Embrace every moment, and what you already have.
Comments
Post a Comment