Roar in the Afterglow

Loneliness for me is a common feeling while travelling solo, don't think (when you are following my adventures on social media) that I am immune to it. I like the solitude at times, and it builds a stronger relationship with myself, to do this on my own that is, but I often wish I had found my companion.  I keep turning every rock, stair into wells to see a reflection next to me, stay open minded and socialise at home. I wander to all corners of the world, I am on all the apps- talk to locals. I am not shy. But so far he has not been found. I have (in moments of hilarious lighthearted desperation) even tried to go back in time Outlander style, if he is not in 2024, maybe in 1878. Perhaps a man from the Bridgerton era. Times are tough, and there are not plenty of available healthy mature fish in the sea, perhaps an old tire, but fish- well most of them have been caught by now, or they were let back into the sea for a reason. The trash never even made it to shore, people do not want

I would run cartwheels right where I stood if you showed up at my doorstep, if you suddenly sat in the audience during my Indian dance or Improv theater performance.  I would remember it forever if you showed up at the airport to say goodbye for now or welcome back,  I would love for you to ask me where in the world I am at.  I would love for you to reach out to me and ask us to read the same book simultaneously and then meet over coffee to share our thoughts, It does not take much time out of your schedule or much effort of sorts, just a suggestion, a thought.  I would love to go out for a joint run or jog, maybe for once right here in my hood- you could use my studio apartments little one person shower,  My home, my little wonderful life- You know you are welcome here too.  Meet me in my life, see where I live and what I do, it might not be marriage and children, or a big suburban house with a yard, but it is me, your friend- still hanging on at the other end.  Someone who shows up,

Remember those illustrated circles of holding hands, with different ethnicities and all kinds of flags, remember the schools teachings of UN children's convention- a right to be safe- and the hope it gave, "From now on they would all be treated the same." If a pact was broken, the protector would never cave- like a lioness it would reach out and save its children (our children) from pain.  Instead, when needed, the courage is in hiding, and so are the doves of peace- they hide behind their leaves.  The words are visible, but where is the care, where is the lioness in all this despair ?  The west was supposed to be a creator of peace and safety, but here we are, digging a grave. Death toll is rising as we vote whether or not to intervene, Children are dying as they flee.  This is where my mind is at, it is a mess, all the trust I had for the big ones; our policies- a harbor of safety, it has left.  And what about our children in the west ? What are we teaching them at best

My grandpa passed away some years ago. For a long time during my teenage years and some into adulthood I felt light-years away from him, in our morals and teachings to follow. I was only looking at him like a priest, with his bible, a hungry need for being in the spotlight (he was a well liked radio host, preacher, author, playwright, ceremony holder, documentary film maker, pilgrim arranger, met the pope once- you name it). When I was feeling down at the age of 17 he wrote me a letter about watching more of TV7 (a local conservative evangelical christian channel), he told me it made his days brighter and that I should try it too. PS. He was not conservative, I think. We never talked much, not really. He had 3 grandchildren.  I do not think that he ever really knew me, and neither did I take my time to view him as a person behind the priesthood which he so often talked about. But when I look back on him now, as I found myself and stand supported, I can see past the job he had chosen (n

Anxiety, as you well may or may not know is a crippling feeling. It affects your heartbeat, brainwaves, thoughts, assumptions and actions there after.  The good thing however is that the horse can be tamed;  - breaks to your ever spinning wheel (like medicine; serotonin I bow to you, self-discovery, honesty and a little bit of love and laughter at the solutions your mind would like to rush you in to) can be put in place and, for the most part, maintained.  Plus, be kind to yourself when you hit a set-back, these things are bound to happen. You are after all only human. not one of those floating zen creatures with a crystal on you forehead able to have insight and clarity to peoples intentions through the power of mind reading (damn.)- but hey neither are you the Hulk. Phew.   Sometimes it is social anxiety- to me this tends to happen when I walk into an acquaintance, note that I do not have the same problem with close friends or strangers. But there is something about acquaintances fro

Lately I have been thinking about how the fear of "it being awkward" can keep us from fully living, making new friends and following our hearts true desire. People often ask me how I dare to travel alone and live in hostels; Is it not it awkward to be alone- and what about when there are groups of friends and you are the only one "alone", or what about if you approach them and they do not catch on... ?  First of all hostels (as my first example) are social (usually), and in most instances you are not the only one travelling alone- and if you are afraid of the awkwardness that comes with the first approach, that is only a natural part of it- and it is awkward and scary the first times, you are after all suddenly sleeping and "living" in the same room and sometimes bed with around 5-10 strangers of all ages and from all over the world - but the more social the hostel and the more "alumni of solo travel" your new dorm-mates are, the more natural and