Skip to main content

Let go - take a breather (about meeting my anxiety)


I wanted to write this for all that anxiety that sometimes builds up inside, for those moments you start to feel the heaviness of that lump. 
Sometimes we can not handle it, we can not control it, it just comes, and I think you have to accept that too, it will come and go. You might feel that you have trouble getting up in the morning, but I found, that the more you stay in the dark, crawled up in those worrying thoughts, maybe accompanied by a feeling of hopelessness, sadness, and.. sometimes.. maybe even anger, the worse you feel. I often then end up feeding myself with triggering intrusive thoughts, giving myself more things to worry about. It feels like tying yourself tighter and tighter with something so thick and (like walls so high) that you find it hard to see past it.

But take a breather, there is a wonderful world behind that wall.

Even a little cup of tea and the ray of sun can help you see that, absorb.

Once you let yourself breathe, tears may fall, it is the accepting feeling of releasing those bonds you tide yourself in. To both accept that sometimes tying yourself tighter is something you tend to do, but how thankful you are that you can be there, for you.

It like a hug, but instead of holding you in its grip it gives you space to breathe.

And when you get out there, tell yourself what you see, because love is all around, take it in and you will once again feel free.


Love, The Girl who just took a breather


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Are you not lonely ? (and my stay in a small bothy at the Isle of Canna)

Loneliness for me is a common feeling while travelling solo, don't think (when you are following my adventures on social media) that I am immune to it. I like the solitude at times, and it builds a stronger relationship with myself, to do this on my own that is, but I often wish I had found my companion.  I keep turning every rock, stair into wells to see a reflection next to me, stay open minded and socialise at home. I wander to all corners of the world, I am on all the apps- talk to locals. I am not shy. But so far he has not been found. I have (in moments of hilarious lighthearted desperation) even tried to go back in time Outlander style, if he is not in 2024, maybe in 1878. Perhaps a man from the Bridgerton era. Times are tough, and there are not plenty of available healthy mature fish in the sea, perhaps an old tire, but fish- well most of them have been caught by now, or they were let back into the sea for a reason. The trash never even made it to shore, people do not want ...

Little Sparrow (about self perception)

I wanted to write down something about self perception. How our looks, physical strength and the way we sound and come across to others, affect the way we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves. My mission here was not to write about the make-up on our face or that eye catching dress we could wear. But rather the people...humans we are. The ones we will always be. For a long time I had quite a low confidence. That low confidence came from how I perceived myself, and I still struggle with that from time to time. You see I knew I was small, short, clumsy, sometimes a bit chubby (boys nickname for me in Pre-school was Christmas ham) and later just small as a twig. I had struggles in finding that voice inside, and when I did I was afraid that that voice was too big- not suitable to this body of mine. I was afraid of being too loud.. too annoying.. I became quiet...awkward... and at moments invisible trying to keep the awkwardness away from daylight. Sometimes it sprang...

To all my busy friends, show up in my life too- it matters

I would run cartwheels right where I stood if you showed up at my doorstep, if you suddenly sat in the audience during my Indian dance or Improv theater performance.  I would remember it forever if you showed up at the airport to say goodbye for now or welcome back,  I would love for you to ask me where in the world I am at.  I would love for you to reach out to me and ask us to read the same book simultaneously and then meet over coffee to share our thoughts, It does not take much time out of your schedule or much effort of sorts, just a suggestion, a thought.  I would love to go out for a joint run or jog, maybe for once right here in my hood- you could use my studio apartments little one person shower,  My home, my little wonderful life- You know you are welcome here too.  Meet me in my life, see where I live and what I do, it might not be marriage and children, or a big suburban house with a yard, but it is me, your friend- still hanging on at the other...