Roar in the Afterglow

I went out for a run, to shake away this feeling, to get away from short conversations, unanswered messages and my little heart that was beating. I put on some music, upbeat and distracting, but soon I noticed that tears fell down, I could not breathe and the balance in my head was even less sound. I turned off the music as I entered the woods, that cramping lifted and I could feel myself where I stood, I walked for a few minutes, listened to the birds, touched some leaves, breathed in and breathed out those never spoken words. The world is so big, my problems are so small, so why all this overthinking, can`t it just stop, once and for all ? I felt quite relaxed, happy for this calmness around me and before I knew it this tension was upon me. My body turned warm, there was a lump in my throat, my heart was beating faster, why won`t it ever stop ? I kept on walking, feeling the nature all around, fresh air is good therapy, and so are all of these sounds. I started running, I fel...

No, this is not a post about growing up in the wilderness that is the countryside, with the sea bashing to the rocks or wind flying through fields and forest. This is about us, the single girls, out here in the wild, learning to navigate through the dates, the games, the guys mind and ways, sometimes trembling, falling only to get back up again and stiffen our legs on the ground we stand on. This is about the heartbreaks we had, lessons we learned, lessons we learned a bit too much to now make us a bit " too understanding ", "too cool" and with our shields held "too high", this is about the bravery of then lowering that shield, of realizing that we did it too soon, of dealing with that aftermath only to raise our shields once again. It is about sensing the masterminds that play, keeping our dignity and not staying as prey. It is about those times we truly believe that what we sense in you is real, sticking around only to be met by runaway fear. It is...

I wanted to write down something about turning 26, or getting a year older once again, seemed like an natural squeal to my post 25 from last year. Much has happened, most of which I wrote about here before, so I am going to keep this one short. The biggest lesson, the class I have taken and followed before, but now got even stronger material for, or emotional assurance even, is that I do not have to have all pieces together right away. In fact there are a lot of things I could do or never end up doing and I would still find that most important thing called happiness in each and every day.  There are always certain things we would like to accomplish, before a certain age, before we are too old. But is there really such a thing, and by looking above and beyond these limits, let our own true story unfold. I guess my point is this, your life doesn't have to be according to the book, you can write your own.  There is always new unwritten pages, and only you can decide...