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Dear Anxiety


I went out for a run, to shake away this feeling, to get away from short conversations, unanswered messages and my little heart that was beating. I put on some music, upbeat and distracting, but soon I noticed that tears fell down, I could not breathe and the balance in my head was even less sound.

I turned off the music as I entered the woods, that cramping lifted and I could feel myself where I stood, I walked for a few minutes, listened to the birds, touched some leaves, breathed in and breathed out those never spoken words. The world is so big, my problems are so small, so why all this overthinking, can`t it just stop, once and for all ?

I felt quite relaxed, happy for this calmness around me and before I knew it this tension was upon me. My body turned warm, there was a lump in my throat, my heart was beating faster, why won`t it ever stop ?

I kept on walking, feeling the nature all around, fresh air is good therapy, and so are all of these sounds.

I started running, I felt free, and I could feel all these worries leaving me,
I smiled and I laughed deep on the inside, I was going to be just fine.

After having been there for an hour and I hit the noisy street, I felt happy that this time it was not bothering me. I headed home with a good mood in my chest, but as I was about to enter the door it struck me once again.

Breathe in Breathe out, a tear fell down,
Breathe in Breathe out, I smiled and thanked myself for always being around



I wanted to take some time to write about anxiety, that feeling that sometimes never seems to be leaving me. I know there are many of us out there and in a world with so much more impulses and speed I feel its important to talk about it, set the topic free.

High pitch sudden noises and intense shaking, like roadwork or traffic, masses of people, crowded stores and streets, concrete roads and tall never ending buildings.
There are many ways we could get around avoiding these things, but in this upbeat world sometimes all we have to do is to face it.
Remember that it is (hopefully) only temporary, walk through it, concentrate on something else, I usually think of the nice things that are waiting at me in the other end. I think about the people I see, I imagine what their life might be.

When I work at the pub I concentrate on the beat, the tasks become a dance and so the noise does not bother me. And the best part of all is the kind people around, the acceptance and humor and to be part of a functioning team, that is what keeps me anxiety free.

This brings me to relationships, friendships, and when there are rocks on the road, when no one answers and your dwelling on what went wrong. Sometimes they need space, but what if it is something else ? Did you say something and can you make amends ?
I am dealing with this situation as we speak and the anxiety of silent treatment is tripping over me.

A good key is try to distract yourself, you should not miss out on your own life due to someone else. At times it will feel like a game, a game where you are filling up your diary and dread those holes thinking That is when you'll go insane. But do not worry, nutter-butters is just a phase.

Start to plan new adventures, there are so many good things that could capture your attention, go for a run when you feel the tension, A good thing is that if you choose exercise an distraction it keeps you pretty fit, just this week I have been doing both Combat and Bootcamp training, running and tomorrow a hiking trip out of the city awaits me.

Cut down social media is another good and effective thing, I removed messenger and put an offtime app on my phone, it keeps me away from things that probably cause anxiety the most. There are so many images and titles out there, remember to be happy with what you have here.

I am sure there is so much more I could write down, but I know You Got This and we will push on once more.






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