Skip to main content

Grew up in the wild


No, this is not a post about growing up in the wilderness that is the countryside, with the sea bashing to the rocks or wind flying through fields and forest.

This is about us, the single girls, out here in the wild, learning to navigate through the dates, the games, the guys mind and ways, sometimes trembling, falling only to get back up again and stiffen our legs on the ground we stand on. This is about the heartbreaks we had, lessons we learned, lessons we learned a bit too much to now make us a bit " too understanding ", "too cool" and with our shields held "too high", this is about the bravery of then lowering that shield, of realizing that we did it too soon, of dealing with that aftermath only to raise our shields once again.

It is about sensing the masterminds that play, keeping our dignity and not staying as prey.
It is about those times we truly believe that what we sense in you is real, sticking around only to be met by runaway fear. It is about knowing how you must feel on the other side of the wall, giving you space, but at the same time worry of losing you, now and for all, will we ever again see you, or are you simply gone ?

This is about getting it, feeling it, maturing on the way, growing stronger for that day that right person passes our way. Yes we wish we did not have to go through all this bloody jungle all day. But you can not get to the treasure unless your willing to read some maps, get lost, solve riddles open caves, find them empty and then start again. Sometimes an occasional attempt to go bushman aka without following the trail could give you some insight to help you on your way.

This is about realizing how much we have grown, for you to see all that you hardly ever give us time to show. For all those moments in a relationship that we would stay strong, sometimes you need a shoulder, trust me, we know. For those times that our potential children would be sad, worried or even mad, how we could help them see their strength, find resilience and to get on the good side of the bad. For the teenage years that come so fast, we will be there to listen, we know what it feels like when nothing seems to go as planned.

Life is not easy, there are so many turns, But the more we travel the more we learn. We may be spitting out twigs at the end of the trail, but through this Strength and Humbleness are lessons that prevail.

See these strong women ? We are the ones who sometimes might slip and fall, but we get back up and out there, life is a mess after all.

And if all the attempts to finding that love fails, if they never pass our way, look at it this way, at least we will be a wise old lady someday.







Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Are you not lonely ? (and my stay in a small bothy at the Isle of Canna)

Loneliness for me is a common feeling while travelling solo, don't think (when you are following my adventures on social media) that I am immune to it. I like the solitude at times, and it builds a stronger relationship with myself, to do this on my own that is, but I often wish I had found my companion.  I keep turning every rock, stair into wells to see a reflection next to me, stay open minded and socialise at home. I wander to all corners of the world, I am on all the apps- talk to locals. I am not shy. But so far he has not been found. I have (in moments of hilarious lighthearted desperation) even tried to go back in time Outlander style, if he is not in 2024, maybe in 1878. Perhaps a man from the Bridgerton era. Times are tough, and there are not plenty of available healthy mature fish in the sea, perhaps an old tire, but fish- well most of them have been caught by now, or they were let back into the sea for a reason. The trash never even made it to shore, people do not want ...

Little Sparrow (about self perception)

I wanted to write down something about self perception. How our looks, physical strength and the way we sound and come across to others, affect the way we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves. My mission here was not to write about the make-up on our face or that eye catching dress we could wear. But rather the people...humans we are. The ones we will always be. For a long time I had quite a low confidence. That low confidence came from how I perceived myself, and I still struggle with that from time to time. You see I knew I was small, short, clumsy, sometimes a bit chubby (boys nickname for me in Pre-school was Christmas ham) and later just small as a twig. I had struggles in finding that voice inside, and when I did I was afraid that that voice was too big- not suitable to this body of mine. I was afraid of being too loud.. too annoying.. I became quiet...awkward... and at moments invisible trying to keep the awkwardness away from daylight. Sometimes it sprang...

To learn to see all of you with new eyes (self perception after leaving an abusive relationship)

I am sitting here on the floor with a cup of tea in my hands, wiggling my toes. The mirror is right in front om me and my newly washed hair makes me look like a natural Aretha Franklin or a very fluffy Chewbacca, both probably equally as cute. It feels quite nice to be able to sit here with myself like this, to just be here, here with me. For a long time I could not. I avoided mirrors, I could not look into her eyes.  The humiliation had made me vulnerable, I felt ashamed, did not want to see her, me, and I also avoided facing the truth, the pain I knew I could see in my eyes. I want to explain what I meant by "Thank You for Humiliating me, for I have learned to see my own beauty" in my post Thank You . As I told before, he pushed me into things I did not want to do. As the years went by I fell into silence I stopped having an own opinion or to say it out loud. I accepted that this was the only kind of closeness that I would get, so though it hurt that he treated me tha...