Inner sense of security (Oak Tree)

Become whole and complete, teach yourself to surf even when hit by waves of anxiety.
For me anxiety is a part of me, but I learn to walk through it, after years of hard work I found trust in me.
It does not matter where I am, where I am I am me, others do not need to transform themselves to fill the holes in me, it is my mission to become whole entirely.
You are welcome to walk right beside of me.
But first you need to strengthen your own sense of inner security.

Become grounded in yourself, build yourself strong enough to become what you need from me. I will support you but I can not fill all the holes within you that you see, you need to become your own Oak tree.

The waves will come, filled with anxiety, that is why you have to be a tree,
find the roots within yourself.
Sit with your anxiety.

We each need to find our own sense of inner security.

One day I will meet your inner Oak Tree.

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In a year

Do things feel like they are not going anywhere, like you are stomping your feet on the same piece of ground ? Has your heart just been broken ? Are you asking yourself; will I ever get over this.. does this pattern just repeat itself. I feel this way sometimes... stuck... in pain... in an emotional rut.. you name it....sniffling and incapable to see the light, although to be fair.. that light.. even in the darkest of times does, in small glimpses, a little here and there, make it through to reach my receptive self. But seeing the small pieces can sometimes be an exhausting process....in this piece I wanted to concentrate on something else, something bigger. The Magic in a Year. If you think back on last year.. how much has changed, how many bigger or minor heartbreaks have you concurred (and yes.. not still faced..) and how has your view on the world broadened ? How many adventures (some more sudden) has the past year taken you on ? How has your life changed within that year ? ...

Life observations

I decided to make a list of observations I made here in my little London life the past month. - Here on Stroud Green Road, Next to the Big Yellow car-wash there was an injured pigeon walking the street, a cat was chasing it. The bird could not fly and had no chance, a man came and picked up the pigeon and moved him to a safe location, my faith in humanity was restored. - I explained to the fire-alarm, (as it went off) not to worry- it was only burned toast. - If you observe me you will find that I always apologies to furniture I bump into. As I hit my toe I will most likely say something along these lines; "I'm sorry.. Ouuch.. &%#?, Ouuch.. And then I laugh or cry depending on the damage. I wonder how I would react if the door suddenly replied with a British politeness, - I am starting to realize that I am a little bit of Ted Mosby, Bridget Jones and the foxes that scream outside my window at night, non of them never give up on whatever they are fighting for. - ...

Short texts on our tilting world

Calling my bank back home in another European country to pass through SEPA payment for my public transport card here in the new but also safe and functional country where I despite the ever whispering inflation and grey employment market have managed to get some dream career related volunteership. This life is unpaid- but I have my "trustfund" (my own savings I worked for), a set of modern tools for any western situation and free libraries/workspaces for writing and life admin, free hostel leftover food and a keep-cup to sip my morning coffee from as a stroll around the city canals, its artwork and flowers. This life is safe. Be grateful for that. I try to numb myself for sanity and focus on that, as the bombs go off in other lands, as children are crying over the bodies of their loved ones, cradeling themselves with the last two limbs they have left, I try, for my own sanity, to turn off the images, focus on my coffee flavoured ice-cream from the small family busines...

Roar in the Afterglow

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