Roar in the Afterglow

I had the most wonderful thing happen to me, it was love, just like out of a film.. actually, it Was in a film. And I was sitting on the couch, by myself, just me, eating left over chocolates from Christmas ... And it was so romantic that I even clipped my toenails on the same table.. okey that is not romantic at all... but I am by myself, so I can do whatever I want and soon I am going to be living in and sharing a house with 4 other people for the next 6 months and maybe longer after that, so I am taking everything out from these last few days as a lonesome.  Anyway, the point was to write about the feeling you get when you watch a film like that- with no one who holds you, smiles back at you or massages your shoulders while you clip your toenails. Sometimes it might feel like a bit of self torture, am I right ? I mean I know times when I just do not let myself watch anything like that, just to avoid the feeling. But why? I mean, I like it, not the self torture, but the other ...

Do you stress ? I stress a lot.  The past days I have been kind of busy with making sure that all the forms/document for my exchange and moving are correct, and the truth is, there has not really been that much that needed to be done (since I started fixing everything many many months ago), just some small things that are easily fixed, so why do I get so stressed about them? I always do that, I panic and I make things a bigger deal than they probably actually are, just because what if it turns out that its a big deal, than I have to do everything, and I mean everything to try to fix it, sometimes it feel like I almost search for the problems just so that I will have a solution for it if it decides to suddenly run into me. But the thing is, I should just do what I can and then relax because I have already done what I can do for now. Over thinking does not usually mean that you came up with anything smart, or at least in my head it sound more like a stressed out parrot who has h...

It is not easy knowing whether what you found is right, is this love real ? Is this love safe ? How do I truly feel ? It can be difficult to be honest with ourselves. I usually (or well, those few times I get this far) try to ask myself these 3 following questions, and I hope they can help you too; 1.   If all you had was an empty white room, could you sit there with just them, as they are, and would they sit there with you ? Do you love them for them, or for the things that come with ? Do we love them for a hobby that they have. their family or friends, their social status, A high position at a fancy company or the ability to treat us with luxuries ? And how about them, what is it that they love about You, is it You they love ? Would they be enough as they are, would you love them even without all those things? And how about them ? Sometimes there might even be things that come with that we find annoying or that we do not like, or in worst case makes us feel unsafe, ...