How do I truly feel ? It can be difficult to be honest with ourselves.
I usually (or well, those few times I get this far) try to ask myself these 3 following questions, and I hope they can help you too;
1. If all you had was an empty white room, could you sit there with just them, as they are, and would they sit there with you ?
Do you love them for them, or for the things that come with ?
Do we love them for a hobby that they have. their family or friends, their social status, A high position at a fancy company or the ability to treat us with luxuries ? And how about them, what is it that they love about You, is it You they love ?
Would they be enough as they are, would you love them even without all those things? And how about them ?
Sometimes there might even be things that come with that we find annoying or that we do not like, or in worst case makes us feel unsafe, or tremendously unhappy. We might have to ask ourselves how bad are they, how do they affect us ? And if its just simply something you dislike, can you love them even with those things ?
* In this case; fill that empty whit room with those things, how would you feel sitting there with them ?
2. Would you feel safe travelling the world with them ?
Would you feel safe travelling the world with that person ? And how about your everyday world, by that meaning your life, do you or do you think you would feel safe travelling through it with them ? If a storm hit you, would they stay by your side ?
But, before you start looking for that safety in someone else, make sure to find it within you, Be that person and learn to travel the world on your own.
In Sex and The City there's a scene where Samantha Jones says it the best; As far as I am concerned the test of a good relationship is, Are you like This (shows a frown) or like This (shows a happy face). And even if that peace of advice might be a bit simple and we think that there is more to this question, that finding out the answer is far more complicated, it could not be more spot on.
If you ask yourself that question, and really listen truthfully to how you feel you should have your answer.
So, do you know the person well enough to answer these questions ? If no, then remember, getting to know someone doesn't happen in an instant, give it time.
If you do however feel that you know them, what would your answer be ?
Yes or No ?
If you are being honest to yourself, and are able to disconnect yourself from them when trying to find the answer, meaning that you stop worrying about losing them and being alone, you know you have the right answer.
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