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All by myself (romance films while clipping toenails)

I had the most wonderful thing happen to me, it was love, just like out of a film.. actually, it Was in a film. And I was sitting on the couch, by myself, just me, eating left over chocolates from Christmas ... And it was so romantic that I even clipped my toenails on the same table.. okey that is not romantic at all... but I am by myself, so I can do whatever I want and soon I am going to be living in and sharing a house with 4 other people for the next 6 months and maybe longer after that, so I am taking everything out from these last few days as a lonesome. 

Anyway, the point was to write about the feeling you get when you watch a film like that- with no one who holds you, smiles back at you or massages your shoulders while you clip your toenails. Sometimes it might feel like a bit of self torture, am I right ? I mean I know times when I just do not let myself watch anything like that, just to avoid the feeling. But why? I mean, I like it, not the self torture, but the other side of it, honestly I do not know what to call it, Hope maybe? Or Happiness? The genuine happiness, that feeling you get when you see him rushing to the airport when he realized something, or flies back to get her and and this time had taught himself her language, or just changes a look with the other or makes a joke and you know they are meant for each other(and well, also because you know the end). 

Even though it may hurt a bit sometimes it is just as wonderful to be able to sit by myself and enjoy these films. I mean the feeling that I can, that I allow myself to feel. That I can tell myself that it is okey to be here on my couch like this,that I can laugh about it while I make myself a cup of tea and rub my own shoulders, because even moments like these are worth cherishing,

 And finally, if you believe in it, I believe that everything will fall into place. 

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