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Lost and Gained (and the haunting city)


Ever felt like the city you live in is filled with old heartbreaks around corners, mistakes and embarrassing incidents? That no matter where you go, they always haunt you (well.. I mean you could always leave the city.. but why let these things win ?) making you feel like a misfit walking along those streets.

More often then we would have hoped, we go through or lives meeting guys who turn our head around, sometimes for a longer while and sometimes for one really good evening, and sometimes before you even came to this city, making us feel so good and confident, hoping that at some point there would be some more, but sooner then later they just leave us with short one-liners making us feel like they find us about as interesting as a potato (no offense to potatoes). We analyse, try to resolve to gain some clearance and in the process of that end up feeling like we just did a freak show (seriously, no matter what we do).
Every place reminds us of something, where it happened (good and bad, laughter, lies, where you saw them with someone else.. every..part of the city..

There are also those times when you know you are not ready (as much as you know their not there either) push them away because you care about them more then that, to very soon then find out that they already started playing another record, with closer tunes to home. This mother hen situation I clearly have put myself in is something I want to get back to later.

So back to where I started, those echoing feelings that scream from the walls- the parks, both for how you see yourself now and all those embarrassing or less wanted situations. They are there, they happened, .. and they can not be removed from that place. The streets and park benches will remain haunted. But even the biggest of ghosts can be turned into Casper (now there is a lovely chap).

You see we can not choose our mistakes, they become mistakes ones we made them, and unfortunately we can not choose our heartbreaks either. But instead of letting them, and the streets and parts of the town (or reminding situations) bring us down, why not let them lift us up ?

Whenever I get hit by that ghost I try to face it with a smile, you see for every situation there are lessons and some of them have now stayed with me for a while,  I learned how I can get through things, and ones again face a new day. I have learned that what was lost was for the better not to stay. I have learned to see the beauty in my own ways. I am fragile, strong and heartfelt, and that is the way I always promise to stay.

So when something gets lost, other things can be gained.
Always look at your situation this way.


So cheers to all the speeches and one-liners planned, yes we know you do it, don't we all, secretly in the shower. But now it is long past my time to get under the cover.

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