Roar in the Afterglow

I decided to try and clear my thoughts on the reason why I at times can not seem to give an answer to a question handed to a group I am part of (think planning a school presentation in the past, practical tasks, quiz-night) This probably has something to do with me becoming overwhelmed (inside my head mostly) by noises and chaos. Or the obstacle when trying to converse in a foreign yet fluent language. But it is more than that- you see I sometimes struggle to understand. I can not put the sentences together, they are coming out of all directions around me, and by the time the question has been read out once- I have already forgotten it- Or, struggled to understand it all together. I need time to think. Paint a picture in my head. This does not take many seconds..well depending on the length of it all.. but those second, or minutes always need to be re-kindled (re-started) if something (noise, chaos and general hurry) comes and blocs the way. I am however (somewhat) good at doing my p...

How are you feeling ? What gives you that feeling? What pulls you under and what brings you down ? And in comparison what is it in your environment that lets you stay with your feet on the ground ? What is it that makes you crumble, makes you anxious, tired and disoriented everyday, is it something in your work-life; that 8 hours and aftermath that you bring home each day ? If a big part of your life effects you deeply on a negative level it might be time for a change. For a long time I have searched myself- and always thought that for a for-filling life it is a successful career that counts, a title, a degree- the way it looks on LinkedIn or what other people- especially those who thought they knew me- think and see;   "- I did not know she had that in her- but look at her now"  "- Wow- she really made something of herself- she is climbing that ladder higher than I thought". But this searching process and finding oneself is really-truly about someth...

It is healthy to argue sometimes, both in order to clear the air and get into a better place with each-other, but also to know that there is safety- a net that will catch you even if you let those mental frying pans fly. Do not be afraid to share your opinion, or even to let out some steam.  And no- we (I will get to that soon..) are not arguing right now. But we have had some pretty hefty discussions, both stemming from each of our individual anxieties.  We all have our monsters in the closet.. that eventually need to come out and throw cookies and tantrums..and as adults, eventually calm down to a more understandable and calm pace- And we both need to be there for one another when the other one needs to be heard.. even if it for a while would make us want to throw our own cookies against theirs. What I have learned- through not only my relationships and dating life- but also through family and friends, is that a relationship can become stronger once the insecurities are...

stop the growth, stop the blossom, as someone might eat them, tear them apart. something I learned, as I let them grow too far, there were lilies appearing, so sensitive and bright, sticks would be better, and less vulnerable- right ? Once they roamed my garden, I guess I made it too inviting. My garden, me. Stop the blossom, stop me. Do not let me breathe and flourish free. That is not how I want my life to be. - to my friend, a gardener in the making

It was not your fault, you are not to blame. For with another open hearted person they would have done just the same. You believed in good, and please always do. There is nothing wrong in loving something we believe to be true. But know this, it is inside of you- that love they told you were missing, they painted void and blue.  You are not lacking- only finding your strength, Never doubt your own pillars my friend.  Shame on those who sweep us off our feet, take us for a dance as they question our knees. There should be no shame in getting in and out of a dance, a rhythm we were shaken to as we tried to stand. True love lets us take all the time we need, it does not leave us feeling guilty for not jumping off our feet. Neither does it pressure, it gives us space to find within us what we need. True love lets us breathe.   -to my friend, a gardener