Trust requires commitment

I previously wrote about making life choices and the importance of staying true to ourselves when making them and choosing our path. But no matter how much these bigger choices (like changing career or moving to another country) and smaller ventures (that will be mentioned here) lay on our mind ready to take action, there is something to consider once we make the concious big choice to enter a relationship; - our partner. Our now most important commitment of all. 

We all go through moments in a relationship where we need time to go out and venture to for-fill ourselves and our own wants and needs and where our partner might momentarily be physically left aside, wether it is going travelling on our own, going on a night out with our single friends, leaving for a longer job gig abroad, or (as my ex had) spending alone time hiking and camping in the same tent as a friend of the opposite sex. Sometimes we need to get away and take a breather, other times it is simply part of our personal need for self-existence. 

trust (from our partner) requires commitment (from us). 

It is only natural to want to live our life the way we wish too, but doing something like this while in a relationship and having our partner accept it (and trust us) requires and immense amount of self- confidence from them (which is directly affected by our/the partners actions mentioned below) - and their love and understanding for us (their partner). It also requires their trust in that we as their partner are committed to them, respect and acknowledge their needs and worries, and will not (even if we had gone out to venture after a disagreement) cheat on them. We are committed to loving and respecting them, committed to being loyal, committed to acknowledge our partners emotions, committed to honest open communication, committed to listen to their concerns, committed to acknowledge our own possible mistakes and flaws, committed to learn and grow towards being a better secure partner. Commitment is so much more than practical attachment like marriage, a promise to make them breakfast in the morning, moving countries for them, or simply just standing under the title 'a couple'. 

In a relationship we are in constant relation to one-another- two individually functioning and thinking humans, with our own set of emotions and reactions- we need to be committed to work with ourselves (to be more stable and empathetic as partners) but also be committed to work and grow together (to build that strong trusting relationship with one-another). We need to acknowledge each-others humanity. 

Gaining trust from our partner for those unconventional ventures, requires our commitment to the relationship and towards our partner and their feelings (the human being at the other end)

Our commitment builds towards feelings of trust within them, and at the other end,- when they feel that we as a partner are emotionally committed to them it is easier for them to trust us (their partner) when we want to/need to go elsewhere to do "our thing our way" for a while.

So before we jump into a relationship knowing our need to venture, we need to ask ourself; can we commit to another person emotionally and practice self-growth regarding the relationship, are we mature enough to learn, grow and nurture a trusting foundation with another person ? How will our ventures affect them and will we take their feelings and possible concerns into empathetic consideration ?

And last but not least, lets always commit to try to understand one-another.

More about my need for venturing:

When I get back home