Do things feel like there not going anywhere, like your stamping your feet on the same piece of ground ? Has your heart just been broken ? Are you asking yourself; will I ever get over this.. does this pattern just repeat itself. I feel this way sometimes... stuck... in pain... in an emotional rut.. you name it....sniffling and incapable to see the light, although to be fair.. that light.. even in the darkest of times does, in small glimpses, a little here and there, make it through to reach my receptive self. But seeing the small pieces can sometimes be an exhausting process....in this piece I wanted to concentrate on something else, something bigger.
The Magic in a Year.
If you think back on last year.. how much has changed, how many bigger or minor heartbreaks have you concurred (and yes.. not still faced..) and how has your view on the world broadened ? How many adventures (some more sudden) has the past year taken you on ? How has your life changed within that year ?
And yes, as in life, there are always those less positive changes... changes that we feared or never would have expected.. things that ripped our heart out.. but even through those hardships.. this year has thought us something, and a new day.. good or bad... is still a new day, and a fresh start. And with all that bad that can come against us at any moment, be grateful- and make the most of each day you have (or at least keep it in mind... I know how easily we just get glued with our but in-front of Netflix).
When I think about the possibility in a year I try to however think about the endless positive possibilities. It makes me curious and opens my heart to all that whats yet to come. A year ago I was sitting on a cellar floor in Balham, checking broken toys for pieces, from where I went to working with supporting elders, found this wonderful pub team (know some things about beer and can pour pints.. even at speed), a new hobby, first holiday with friend, surfcamp.. and managed to change my career for yet another path and now stepping on the first step of possibly landing a job in this world that still 6 months ago was for me a complete mystery.
And as far as love goes.. I still hadn't met that guy..(even though one dirt-bag came in to this year unexpected and uninvited.. but that goes change goes to a clearly positive one.. as that trouble could be left behind for good) or that next guy.. that would end up being something important to me, and even if those took the course they did, .. Just A Year Ago I still hadn't met them.. so... what new might a year from now bring ?
A Year from Now I could have found him, he could have found me... I could be engaged.. (okey maybe not.. not my style to move that fast with those binding steps.. you know.... even if I haven't been in that boat for about 6 years... so what I meant to say was hypothetically I wouldn't. ).
In a Year from now I could have started my own book imprint (who knows ?) Firefly might take of sooner then I could have dreamed.. one thing, one move or two..sometimes unknowingly.. might lead to another..). I Could still be here, in this very room, or I could be on a journey of a lifetime. I could be back home.
I could have met about a number of 4-5 boys that all swept my feet away (okey that a lot of heart work so I really hope not.. better stay away from the app..), they could all have left me as fast as they arrived or taken their time.. I could have thought I felt something, only to find out that it was all a facade. Yes.. bad things could come.. I might a year from now sit and think, where has this year and the love in it gone, where is he ? But it might also be that someone shows up (maybe not the first) and it all falls in to place, why all of the things before had to fall apart, for this all along planned thing to find its space.
There can be so much that can happen in a year, 365 days counting,
Who knows where we are once we get there ?
Comments
Post a Comment