Calling my bank back home in another European country to pass through SEPA payment for my public transport card here in the new but also safe and functional country where I despite the ever whispering inflation and grey employment market have managed to get some dream career related volunteership. This life is unpaid- but I have my "trustfund" (my own savings I worked for), a set of modern tools for any western situation and free libraries/workspaces for writing and life admin, free hostel leftover food and a keep-cup to sip my morning coffee from as a stroll around the city canals, its artwork and flowers.
This life is safe. Be grateful for that. I try to numb myself for sanity and focus on that, as the bombs go off in other lands, as children are crying over the bodies of their loved ones, cradeling themselves with the last two limbs they have left, I try, for my own sanity, to turn off the images, focus on my coffee flavoured ice-cream from the small family business owner in this safe town, he smiles- and I feel grateful for his cheer joy and pride in what he has accomplished.
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My phone is overheating. There is a warning of a severe heat-wave- we are in the northern hemisphere. I hide in the cooling public library of 8 floors and artwork, and at the same time billionaires toy around with their shares in oil, some of them the sustainable kind, so I guess we are winning. Tackling this race to save the planet for future generations. Building more, digging more (the drills can be heard from most streets). Is it another luxury expansion, a metro line or speed train to get us there (where ?) faster. Is it for the intelligence that we are missing- fallen out of- Is it the AI center that has come to save us all ? giving us the answers, coded, scripted, at the speed of light, heated powerbanks, inhumane- like we never knew anything at all.
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Slow-is what most of us, who knew the time before this, look for, but around us the world (and humanity) is dying so fast. To keep up-hold on, and not let them down, we try to act. Speak up, share, paint our words with love and peace. We promise to never give hatred the space to fester all that we thought would forever stay in the past.
Never again, but here we are. Watching as the world once again goes further than too far. I am looking for love in community and emotional safety, but so many roots seem tired and broken- where can I go and believe in what they say- soft seems like a distraction, even though we need it the most, what I look for is truthful and outspoken.
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Yesterday I stumbled past a neighbourhood with live music in the garden. I sat down for a few of the final songs, played with fidels and guitars as the audience sang along. No alcohol, just lemonade, children dancing as they played. Right now I am hiding from the soaring heat, at that most beautiful, cooling and engaging public library. The sweet seeming man next to me, in his 70s is playing a computer game, shooting guns and grenades. He seems quite focused, its an online discussion based game, I wonder in this world- what do `for leisure` players like these have to say. What are they thinking as they aim.
These two world are somehow one and the same.
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The prices go up, the prices go down, even I read the stock-market to have an understanding of where my future as a laborer in the world market can be found. Is it good to invest in something now ? Or should I wait until this dystopia shuts down ?
To build in a world that is closing its eyes, feels like participating in living a lie.
But I, like everyone else, want to make the most of this life.
I am fortunate to get to live and be alive.
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Three little boys and their dog are playing in the canal in the summer heat, I am eating my dumplings on the make-shift beach. Four young men downunder (some under 15), attacked a girl in her car and then left her to bleed, Another young man back home shut a few girls at school as he did not like them for making him feel alone. He wrote his manifesto of misogony- where did he learn that from ? Web forums can be a dangerous place if you know what you are looking for. I guess you grow healthier with age, but not much before three older men dragged an underaged girl from the emergency hallway to the nearby woods-had her all the ways they could, choked her to the ground, she could not fight back, had too much to drink to say no- the judge passed the encounter as a misunderstanding for all. This is in the world happiest country that I am coming from.
Four young men and their resque dogs shared their wifi and helped me find my way, as evening came in Switzerland and I was still a long way from where I was going to stay. As night fell I was okey.
How does one smile with an open heart, when darkness (so often) has taken over such parts.
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Children without parents are begging for food, even just a sliver, creating videos to show their hunger- humour us, show us love- reach us in this clickbite like and subscribe world that we are now coming from.
On the same channel dance-routines, get ready with me make-up reels, fast fashion shopping hauls, and thaughtless disturbing challenges are created and filling our young with purpose. To be one in this circle is what most seem to seek.
How can we reach past this mind numing machine ?
Let them know that there is more to life- and voices to be heard that need to speak.
Teach them to listen, and to feel.
Purposful heartfelt action is what we need.
This world is in draught from lack of empathy.
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But there is hope, somewhere out there, people are still gathering, fighting, lifting their voices for humanity and peace.
We are thousands- no- millions- if you only choose to see.
We are united.
This one big family.
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Dont take it as an insult, when I express my boundaries
I worked hard, to no longer sit quietly
You were thaught, that persistence is they key.
Your words and actions as the norm, accepted, as they both stepped over me
But I am no longer taking on what I receive.
Learn, Do better, Listen, Respect
Me
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Spineless;
Not just words,
they are meaningless without action
No white lies,
Do not let the veil of your spinelessness cover our eyes
Do better,
Step up and be the leader that we need
and take real action,
with love and empathy
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Labubu,
Get ready with me,
Must do this challenge,
We all said
As we turned away from the misery
Get views, get likes, be relevant
learn to grind
leave the 9-5 behind
you will be happier
once we control your mind
do not see how you loose your own voice to this machine
forget what it truly means to be free
express the words we tell you too
this algorithm will work for you
build an identity not based on the truth
Who you are, we will never know
What is love, if not for show
a trendy entry, to the engine,
that controls our wants and needs
if we only knew what true love means
Not based on popularity.
Be yourself, break free
Do not let them define your identity.
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