Roar in the Afterglow

How are you feeling ? What gives you that feeling? What pulls you under and what brings you down ? And in comparison what is it in your environment that lets you stay with your feet on the ground ? What is it that makes you crumble, makes you anxious, tired and disoriented everyday, is it something in your work-life; that 8 hours and aftermath that you bring home each day ? If a big part of your life effects you deeply on a negative level it might be time for a change. For a long time I have searched myself- and always thought that for a for-filling life it is a successful career that counts, a title, a degree- the way it looks on LinkedIn or what other people- especially those who thought they knew me- think and see;   "- I did not know she had that in her- but look at her now"  "- Wow- she really made something of herself- she is climbing that ladder higher than I thought". But this searching process and finding oneself is really-truly about someth...

It is healthy to argue sometimes, both in order to clear the air and get into a better place with each-other, but also to know that there is safety- a net that will catch you even if you let those mental frying pans fly. Do not be afraid to share your opinion, or even to let out some steam.  And no- we (I will get to that soon..) are not arguing right now. But we have had some pretty hefty discussions, both stemming from each of our individual anxieties.  We all have our monsters in the closet.. that eventually need to come out and throw cookies and tantrums..and as adults, eventually calm down to a more understandable and calm pace- And we both need to be there for one another when the other one needs to be heard.. even if it for a while would make us want to throw our own cookies against theirs. What I have learned- through not only my relationships and dating life- but also through family and friends, is that a relationship can become stronger once the insecurities are...

stop the growth, stop the blossom, as someone might eat them, tear them apart. something I learned, as I let them grow too far, there were lilies appearing, so sensitive and bright, sticks would be better, and less vulnerable- right ? Once they roamed my garden, I guess I made it too inviting. My garden, me. Stop the blossom, stop me. Do not let me breathe and flourish free. That is not how I want my life to be. - to my friend, a gardener in the making

It was not your fault, you are not to blame. For with another open hearted person they would have done just the same. You believed in good, and please always do. There is nothing wrong in loving something we believe to be true. But know this, it is inside of you- that love they told you were missing, they painted void and blue.  You are not lacking- only finding your strength, Never doubt your own pillars my friend.  Shame on those who sweep us off our feet, take us for a dance as they question our knees. There should be no shame in getting in and out of a dance, a rhythm we were shaken to as we tried to stand. True love lets us take all the time we need, it does not leave us feeling guilty for not jumping off our feet. Neither does it pressure, it gives us space to find within us what we need. True love lets us breathe.   -to my friend, a gardener

If a product could talk, told you where it came from and how it was made, how its creators were feeling and how long of a journey it had to take, - would you still want to buy it, put a chip into this game ? How much did its bargain price and mass produced parts take away from the birds, monkeys and trees ? How much is our air polluted for our (pointless) wants and needs ? And once it was sold, who got the profit ? The stockmarket, a mansion or someones needing pocket ? So in 2019, support Fair-trade, sustainable, local or independently made, or buy the already produced ones -no double footprint, re-use the same. Give back to the planet what you take, a charity or a hard working maker this way. 

I wanted to write about male self acceptance, both physical and otherwise. The idea of the ideal man. Strength, a pack of six and brave as a bull. No- humans are not Captain America- or whatever character your head might turn you too. And. p.s I am sure this fictional character has troubles too. like unwanted body hair. or anxiety. Do not let the cameras fool you. Neither do they look like Adonis- and if you or your friend does (or get close to it), congratulations. it is all a pleasant bonus.  But that's the thing- bonuses; fit, guitar skills and the energy and streak of luck to create a start up company like all the millenials- no matter how appreciated, they are just that. a cherry on top of the sundae. The Sundae being You. Now before this gets to ice cream referenced let me rephrase that. You are enough. Honesty, a warm embrace. It does not matter if there is or isn't dandruff sometimes. Love handles. Oily skin or a beard that will never start growing even if y...

I wanted to write something about going on adventures of your own- even after you found someone who would walk there beside you to any  corner of the world. Now, this might not fit everyone's idea of a relationship- but it is an important value and hope in mine. With so much time spent walking this earth solo, making plans and taking planes, hikes- breathing out after a past I left behind- I have grown fond of this feeling- the freedom, the time to myself. It is a part of me I will always need- a hug that no one else could give.  Being someones companion- team- does not always mean walking with you, beside you- literary. It is just as much about giving space- showing understanding. Be happy for the other part going out there in the world and gaining the strength and peace that they need. And I guess in a lot of ways staying sane for themselves- and through that for others. Understanding that, is love.  So, there will be times when I need me, breath in, remind myself tha...