So why do we stay with a partner like this? I asked myself that question several times. Here you have some answers:
In
the beginning of the relationship, or even before you started dating
there were good things, things you had been waiting for for so long,
things you felt that you needed. Also, in my case I really didn`t
know him at all before we started dating.
I
remember when we met, we worked at the same grocery market for the
summer, we were out on an Island, and he was far from his normal
surroundings. We rode of with our bikes together and ones we stopped
near a mountain and climbed up to see the view, we sat down on an old
tree and he told me that I had ants in my shoe and that he should try
to get them of, which I found to be the cutest any guy had ever said
to me. For years I tried to make him remember that moment, but
according to him that never happened, which was sad, its moments like
these that I value the most, the small things.
That
summer we had a long talk under the afternoon sun. I remember
afternoon turning into evening and thinking that I never had a guy
spend this much time with me, to listen to all my silly worries and
thoughts. As he walked me to my bike he put his sweater on my
shoulders, he told me that he could see that I was cold. I was in
love.
A
week later we were a couple
About
a year later, even after all the pushing me into things I didn't
want, drunken heartbreaking phone calls and forgetting me, I remember
seeing him in that light again. We were at my parents summer place
and he came with me to warm the Sauna. He was wearing his gray
sweater and he was doing all the work. I remember looking at him and
thinking, how lucky am I.. It`s the simple things you see... But they
should Always outrun the bad.
He
has had a tough life; you forgive him and feel sorry for him, He was
ones nice to you and you thought you found " The One "; you
stay with him and everyday hope for that person to return, even If
you'd had to share him with someone else. You believe that if you
show enough love he will change; because he loves you, He says that
hes going to change; you want to believe him, If he treats you this
badly there has to be something wrong with you; you think that no one
else would want to be with you.
Sometimes
I think; what If I had known what he was like, had it been different,
maybe I would have made a better decision to stay away from him. Or
maybe If he had treated me just a bit better, what would have
happened then ?
I'm
thankful that he treated me the way he did (well.. thankful might be
a bit of a wrong word.. but I`ts the closest to the truth) Otherwise
I probably would have stayed longer. And I'm thankful that that
did`nt end up being my future. I Also learnt what I don`t want from
life and relationships and to embrace everyday as they come. This is
also one of the reasons my parents didn't try to break it off, no
matter how much the wanted to and how much it hurt them to see me
fall apart. They knew that he was bad news, but It took a long time
for them to find out really how bad it was, I never told them back
then, I felt ashamed and as a typical teenager I didn`t want them to
know that they where right, I loved him and wanted to believe that I
had made the right decision. If My parents had tried to break it of I
would just have wanted to stay even more.
Its
a big mess you have to wake up from. Today I'm Wide Awake.
Comments
Post a Comment