Skip to main content

I miss you, but please do not show up yet


Sometimes I wish you were here. Where ever you are. I do not know if I already met you or if I am still about to. How do I find you, and how do I know when I have found you ? Sometimes I meet someone who seems nice and kind, and then I get let down. So how am I supposed to trust again, not be afraid to see the good, trust in it, that it is real and not just for show ? How do I know that what I found is good, and how do I find you ? I miss you.

.. Yes.. I miss him, and maybe you should not be allowed to say that, how can you really miss someone that you do not even know ?..Well, all I know is this feeling.

That finally found them feeling, that feeling of safety, that feeling of knowing that this is the person you want to take your life's adventures with, that feeling that you do not have to say anything, you could just be. That feeling of laughing to something stupid that only the two of you understand. Seeing them smile. 

But here is the other truth.. no matter how much I sometimes miss him, I wish that he would  not be here just yet. I have a lot of getting whole to do. I need to live my own life for a while, which means live, learn and laugh to it as much as I can. 

`So maybe you are out there, living your life, hopefully to the fullest, And as me, make mistakes that you then make sure to learn  from. Grow' 

We will find each other when we are whole, and then tell each-other all that we know. 
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Are you not lonely ? (and my stay in a small bothy at the Isle of Canna)

Loneliness for me is a common feeling while travelling solo, don't think (when you are following my adventures on social media) that I am immune to it. I like the solitude at times, and it builds a stronger relationship with myself, to do this on my own that is, but I often wish I had found my companion.  I keep turning every rock, stair into wells to see a reflection next to me, stay open minded and socialise at home. I wander to all corners of the world, I am on all the apps- talk to locals. I am not shy. But so far he has not been found. I have (in moments of hilarious lighthearted desperation) even tried to go back in time Outlander style, if he is not in 2024, maybe in 1878. Perhaps a man from the Bridgerton era. Times are tough, and there are not plenty of available healthy mature fish in the sea, perhaps an old tire, but fish- well most of them have been caught by now, or they were let back into the sea for a reason. The trash never even made it to shore, people do not want ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Little Sparrow (about self perception)

I wanted to write down something about self perception. How our looks, physical strength and the way we sound and come across to others, affect the way we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves. My mission here was not to write about the make-up on our face or that eye catching dress we could wear. But rather the people...humans we are. The ones we will always be. For a long time I had quite a low confidence. That low confidence came from how I perceived myself, and I still struggle with that from time to time. You see I knew I was small, short, clumsy, sometimes a bit chubby (boys nickname for me in Pre-school was Christmas ham) and later just small as a twig. I had struggles in finding that voice inside, and when I did I was afraid that that voice was too big- not suitable to this body of mine. I was afraid of being too loud.. too annoying.. I became quiet...awkward... and at moments invisible trying to keep the awkwardness away from daylight. Sometimes it sprang...
Post a Comment
Read more

To all my busy friends, show up in my life too- it matters

I would run cartwheels right where I stood if you showed up at my doorstep, if you suddenly sat in the audience during my Indian dance or Improv theater performance.  I would remember it forever if you showed up at the airport to say goodbye for now or welcome back,  I would love for you to ask me where in the world I am at.  I would love for you to reach out to me and ask us to read the same book simultaneously and then meet over coffee to share our thoughts, It does not take much time out of your schedule or much effort of sorts, just a suggestion, a thought.  I would love to go out for a joint run or jog, maybe for once right here in my hood- you could use my studio apartments little one person shower,  My home, my little wonderful life- You know you are welcome here too.  Meet me in my life, see where I live and what I do, it might not be marriage and children, or a big suburban house with a yard, but it is me, your friend- still hanging on at the other...
Post a Comment
Read more