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Old soul (dating when you grew up fast but feel like you need a few slow chapters)


Sometimes I feel old, old like 40 at 24 . I guess it`s all that energy I gave away, I'm tired, but want more then anything to live again, not necessarily smart (seriously sometimes I doubt my IQ when I can`t seem to open a door :D ) but maybe somewhat wise, or wiser then before.

I don`t do (as many) stupid things, I listen to my gut when I feel that something is or might go wrong, I can leave a party early or drink less without feeling bad about being the "boring one ". I like to go on long walks with a friend, drink tea while sitting by the window, and I save money for travelling to new places, the rest gets saved for the future.  I guess Ive grown up.

At the same time I sometimes miss the feeling that I`ve never had, of beeing more care free,  I also sometimes wish that I`d be able to let go and live life like it never happened. But you live, and I chose to continuesly try to learn from it.

Trying to meet men when feeling like an old soul, is`nt easy.

Even though I'm not looking for a relationship for a long time it`s still nice to get to know new guys, it`s more about trying to get my trust back in them, and you never know if that right person is the next person you meet.

But I`m tired of looking at men who never seem to grow up. And yes I do understand the expression " Boys will be Boys" , believe me I`ve seen my dad with his friends... and heard of the robbers roast they prepear while pretending to be vikings over a boys weekend... which I find kind of funny.. but thats not what I mean, you should always hold on to your silly side and never let it go no matter how old you get. What I mean is men who never seem to find there muture side, a lot of guys my age seem to be affraid to talk, and I mean really talk.

One of my biggest worries is that they would not understand, that if I at some point had to tell them about my past they`d get scared. I don`t want to scare them but at the same time I don`t want to have them in my life and then have them run away. One`s I'm ready for a relationship again I need a person who understands that things happen in life, someone who isn`t afraid to be there and whos able to face their own.

But how about dating older guys, like in their 30 `s ? Nope, at least not for me. And besides there`s  another wall coming at you, the middle aged milestones; Engagement, Marriage, Kids, Family, House.. and yes I guess we could throw in a Volvo and a Dog in there too. And yes I (as probably many others) want that someday, at least some of it,  but not now, and not for another 5 years.

 It`s not easy finding someone who's mature enough to talk, but young enough to wait.

So what to do ? Honestly I really wished I had an well thought suggestion of some kind, but I guess time and patience and remindment of focusing on yourself while you wait for the right person is the best one i can come up with for now. 


Stay Strong and Always Be You <3











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