Why I try to understand

This will be a short one, You can find more (and on having anxiety and being hsp) under why I don´t slam doors and my own wellbeing

I try to understand you and my own effect on you so that I can support you as a friend, forgive you as a partner, and paint a truthful picture in my heart and head. That leads me to the part where I do it for me, my well-being, my view on us and outlook towards the future people I may meet- I try to understand you (and me) so that I can see you and us as we were and are, but erase the possible monster that I see when things get dark, I try to shine in the light that is all. I can heal the fearful doubt for others that arises in me, to not paint them over so relentlessly. They deserve that just as much as you and me.

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Short texts on our tilting world

Calling my bank back home in another European country to pass through SEPA payment for my public transport card here in the new but also safe and functional country where I despite the ever whispering inflation and grey employment market have managed to get some dream career related volunteership. This life is unpaid- but I have my "trustfund" (my own savings I worked for), a set of modern tools for any western situation and free libraries/workspaces for writing and life admin, free hostel leftover food and a keep-cup to sip my morning coffee from as a stroll around the city canals, its artwork and flowers. This life is safe. Be grateful for that. I try to numb myself for sanity and focus on that, as the bombs go off in other lands, as children are crying over the bodies of their loved ones, cradeling themselves with the last two limbs they have left, I try, for my own sanity, to turn off the images, focus on my coffee flavoured ice-cream from the small family busines...

My dream way of living; minimal housing, community, flexibility, nature, adventure

For a few years now I have wanted to live in a tiny house on wheels; a mobile, ecological, minimalist grandmas cottage. Big windows, wooden floors, natural and warm yet bright surfaces,with pops of color (sunflower yellow kitchen cabinets, turquoise tiles or a single tea-pot) and Moroccan and Scottish throws and pillows. A spacious bedroom loft with a window in the ceiling, a small and not too heavy fireplace to keep the house warm during the winter (or just to boil tea and that cozy factor), a tiny wooden sauna room at the back with an inbuilt shower and half of a giant whisky barrel which could serve both as a sauna seat and bath tub. Storage space under the stairs (my goal is to have as little "stuff" as possible), a dinner table that comes up from the floor when needed, a couch/storage by the window. Wheels underneath to get to new exciting locations when needed (for work, other responsibilities or due to climate change), a few wooden fold box...

In a year

Do things feel like they are not going anywhere, like you are stomping your feet on the same piece of ground ? Has your heart just been broken ? Are you asking yourself; will I ever get over this.. does this pattern just repeat itself. I feel this way sometimes... stuck... in pain... in an emotional rut.. you name it....sniffling and incapable to see the light, although to be fair.. that light.. even in the darkest of times does, in small glimpses, a little here and there, make it through to reach my receptive self. But seeing the small pieces can sometimes be an exhausting process....in this piece I wanted to concentrate on something else, something bigger. The Magic in a Year. If you think back on last year.. how much has changed, how many bigger or minor heartbreaks have you concurred (and yes.. not still faced..) and how has your view on the world broadened ? How many adventures (some more sudden) has the past year taken you on ? How has your life changed within that year ? ...

Roar in the Afterglow

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