So I haven´t written in a while and I do not know exactly why, as my brain has mostly been on rest as I am living a slow lifestyle (financially.. most of the week) while waiting for Brexit, hiding in the shadows. (can anyone relate ?)
I guess I am waking up from a blurry mind caused by standstill.
Anyway.. let´s crack a nut or two (or blow some wind in those sails.. as the image of that as a metaphor for what I am about to say popped in to my head.. be your own captain.. and Zeus)
Be real when dating, even on that first date (or app).
Friendship, kindness and shared values first. That is a fact.
Once upon a time there was a young lady who was tired of the endless "so what do you do for a living and travel related questions" when all she wanted to know was whether a mismatched pair of socks would cause them; anger, embarrassment or laughter from within. She tried a question like this on those glorious apps.. went on dates and found out that there was no hope of future there.. jokes bring us far.. but then there is all the rest that should have found its place. She decided that other types of questions had to be set in place.. you see London is full of people.. you can waste years going round and round on " I gym and drink beer" kind of dates. She asked for realness as much as she could; 1. Where do you see yourself in 5 Years, 2. Seaside (calm) or City AND 3. What is the most honest thing you have ever done ?
She got a lot of passes (deletes) and some replies, some mean and some actually quite mature and nice. What else does one do- when you have to sieve them through ? One man took the time to tell her " You will never get married, doing this the way you do..! Oh- so that is the goal she thought. not finding the person who I connect with.. and can deal with (and maybe even loves) these quirky sides of me.. The goal is to have someone be attracted.. and then take me under their wing.. like an object that will settle to much of not saying really anything. Thank God (and Zeus) for having blown this wind from me- for any woman deserves to be free (and cut away men that see it differently).
So no- dear stranger who wanted to tell me that- I will not marry the likes of you.. I will make sure to scare them away by being myself to you.
But questions aside, I got some good replies. And even here we need to watch ourselves.. they might be making up lies.. but still be real, just keep on sieving them through.
My point here was not to tell you to do what I do- or did (but out of this wilderness of suits and cars I found my down to earth- and kind- prince). Write truthful questions- a round of jeopardy- you choose what to do. But even without sieving, as you meet them (or spend time with any friend really) choose to be you.
In good and bad- If they are meant for you they will last.
After a casual pub date (and receiving a flower pot) We went to being just friends- talked about it all- long walks in the sun, no phoniness, no time (or care) for make-up (at all). I was still recovering from my recently met anxiety wave. He stayed as I showed it all. Sat waiting at an old tree stump.. as I was close to 30 minutes late, he could see the heaviness shadowing my face. We opened the gates, there was nothing to hide- we both had our stressors (prone to anxiety) lumps of thoughts that could tend to lay a knot inside. Out of all the pain, and all the good, of all the dreams of "could and should" he listened to every part of me..even when I felt like I was tripping over me.
It took some time, but soon I knew, around him I could be true.
And as far as the questions of shared values- well they where there too.
From the start I filled my sails with questions and my truth, and refused to hide the passing storms,
and so I found myself somewhere new.
Thank you to my inner Zeus.
and Thank you M.B for being you.
Did you know he writes Poetry too ?
I guess I am waking up from a blurry mind caused by standstill.
Anyway.. let´s crack a nut or two (or blow some wind in those sails.. as the image of that as a metaphor for what I am about to say popped in to my head.. be your own captain.. and Zeus)
Be real when dating, even on that first date (or app).
Friendship, kindness and shared values first. That is a fact.
Once upon a time there was a young lady who was tired of the endless "so what do you do for a living and travel related questions" when all she wanted to know was whether a mismatched pair of socks would cause them; anger, embarrassment or laughter from within. She tried a question like this on those glorious apps.. went on dates and found out that there was no hope of future there.. jokes bring us far.. but then there is all the rest that should have found its place. She decided that other types of questions had to be set in place.. you see London is full of people.. you can waste years going round and round on " I gym and drink beer" kind of dates. She asked for realness as much as she could; 1. Where do you see yourself in 5 Years, 2. Seaside (calm) or City AND 3. What is the most honest thing you have ever done ?
She got a lot of passes (deletes) and some replies, some mean and some actually quite mature and nice. What else does one do- when you have to sieve them through ? One man took the time to tell her " You will never get married, doing this the way you do..! Oh- so that is the goal she thought. not finding the person who I connect with.. and can deal with (and maybe even loves) these quirky sides of me.. The goal is to have someone be attracted.. and then take me under their wing.. like an object that will settle to much of not saying really anything. Thank God (and Zeus) for having blown this wind from me- for any woman deserves to be free (and cut away men that see it differently).
So no- dear stranger who wanted to tell me that- I will not marry the likes of you.. I will make sure to scare them away by being myself to you.
But questions aside, I got some good replies. And even here we need to watch ourselves.. they might be making up lies.. but still be real, just keep on sieving them through.
My point here was not to tell you to do what I do- or did (but out of this wilderness of suits and cars I found my down to earth- and kind- prince). Write truthful questions- a round of jeopardy- you choose what to do. But even without sieving, as you meet them (or spend time with any friend really) choose to be you.
In good and bad- If they are meant for you they will last.
After a casual pub date (and receiving a flower pot) We went to being just friends- talked about it all- long walks in the sun, no phoniness, no time (or care) for make-up (at all). I was still recovering from my recently met anxiety wave. He stayed as I showed it all. Sat waiting at an old tree stump.. as I was close to 30 minutes late, he could see the heaviness shadowing my face. We opened the gates, there was nothing to hide- we both had our stressors (prone to anxiety) lumps of thoughts that could tend to lay a knot inside. Out of all the pain, and all the good, of all the dreams of "could and should" he listened to every part of me..even when I felt like I was tripping over me.
It took some time, but soon I knew, around him I could be true.
And as far as the questions of shared values- well they where there too.
From the start I filled my sails with questions and my truth, and refused to hide the passing storms,
and so I found myself somewhere new.
Thank you to my inner Zeus.
and Thank you M.B for being you.
Did you know he writes Poetry too ?
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