I went out hiking this weekend
Sometimes when you get out in the nature you remember to think clearly, you stop for a second and get closer to yourself than ever. Watching over the quiet lake reminded me of how thankful I am of my own vulnerability as well as my strength and the fact that Im still standing.
Im thankful for no longer being there, in that down-dragging mess that could have been my future, Im thankful that Im here, right here and still breathing, but without the feeling of hopelessness in my chest.
As night came, we; that is us scout leaders and some of the kids, did something that I secretly always dream of, we searched out a clearing from the trees where we then laid on our backs to watch over the clearest starry sky.
Again I was reminded of how thankful I am to just breathe, even though it some days almost breaks me in to pieces that your not here yet..I started thinking of where you are..
Im thankful for the time that I have to get back in touch with the person I am that was lost.
When I see other couples, the happy ones and especially those who started a family, I think about how lucky they are, and how lucky and grateful I`d be to have that, but that it isn't my time just yet and that even though I miss them, some days terribly, Im thankful to be exactly where I am, where I need to be.
Sometimes I would however want to have just a glimpse into that future, to be there with them for a little while, to know that their there, and even more important then that, that if they are that they are happy and safe.
I miss him, I miss them and wonder when and where, and if ever, But no matter what Im going through, or what Im feeling, I make sure to remind myself, how lucky I am to be right here, right where Im supposed to be.
Sometimes when you get out in the nature you remember to think clearly, you stop for a second and get closer to yourself than ever. Watching over the quiet lake reminded me of how thankful I am of my own vulnerability as well as my strength and the fact that Im still standing.
Im thankful for no longer being there, in that down-dragging mess that could have been my future, Im thankful that Im here, right here and still breathing, but without the feeling of hopelessness in my chest.
As night came, we; that is us scout leaders and some of the kids, did something that I secretly always dream of, we searched out a clearing from the trees where we then laid on our backs to watch over the clearest starry sky.
Again I was reminded of how thankful I am to just breathe, even though it some days almost breaks me in to pieces that your not here yet..I started thinking of where you are..
Im thankful for the time that I have to get back in touch with the person I am that was lost.
When I see other couples, the happy ones and especially those who started a family, I think about how lucky they are, and how lucky and grateful I`d be to have that, but that it isn't my time just yet and that even though I miss them, some days terribly, Im thankful to be exactly where I am, where I need to be.
Sometimes I would however want to have just a glimpse into that future, to be there with them for a little while, to know that their there, and even more important then that, that if they are that they are happy and safe.
I miss him, I miss them and wonder when and where, and if ever, But no matter what Im going through, or what Im feeling, I make sure to remind myself, how lucky I am to be right here, right where Im supposed to be.
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