I told you earlier, that I`m Wide Awake, and aware of my surroundings, but I wanted to take you one step deeper, tell about the thing that makes it even more of a battle, trusting that inner voice.
To try to trust your emotions, when you have a past of been spinned, isn't easy.
When being scared and unpleasantly surprised, has become something so ordinary, when emotions of low, hurt and worry are so familiar, that you fear that you might not notice when their there to take you down. Are they just echoes from the past or are they caused by something or someone thats right in front of you ? Are you capable of seeing true danger ?
Is your feeling of love safe, or is it playing a trick, does it try to cover something that this exhausted heart is tired of facing. or is it real and healed enough to be trusted ? Is it sane to feel love for this, or should I turn away ?
Is my fear ones again a sign of warning that could help me see what could break me before it takes me for yet another spin or is it blurring my sight from seeing that I finally stand in front of something good ? Is the fear getting you to prepare yourself for something that isn't there ?
When you come to the point where it all gets more close, when jokes are told on each-others expense, when worries, suggestions and thoughts are received. The fear might start to question; Are these coming from a good place? Will they break you, push and hold you down....Or respectfully hug you, and let you keep all your air ?
When I'm treated with love, I'm not sure, when I find myself trusting, I doubt. When my heart fills with love.. I cry.
I'm afraid of letting myself feel comfort, because what if it all might break? I cry because I´m afraid to make another mistake. And when I then get that feeling of comfort and love beneath my chest, I worry that its that same old spell, that ones not so long ago, made me fall into the closest I've been to hell.
So how can I trust my inner compass ? How do I trust that I'm not under that spell, How do I know when my emotions for the past are interfering with the present and how do I know when that fear is in reason ? I'm not sure how to get a hold of this mess, But as I`ve written before, giving it time and not rushing, is certainly something that can help you get a stronger foundation in trusting that inner voice.
Be thankful of what the past has though you, but don't let it take over your present,
Live and Love and Listen with Courage <3
To try to trust your emotions, when you have a past of been spinned, isn't easy.
When being scared and unpleasantly surprised, has become something so ordinary, when emotions of low, hurt and worry are so familiar, that you fear that you might not notice when their there to take you down. Are they just echoes from the past or are they caused by something or someone thats right in front of you ? Are you capable of seeing true danger ?
Is your feeling of love safe, or is it playing a trick, does it try to cover something that this exhausted heart is tired of facing. or is it real and healed enough to be trusted ? Is it sane to feel love for this, or should I turn away ?
Is my fear ones again a sign of warning that could help me see what could break me before it takes me for yet another spin or is it blurring my sight from seeing that I finally stand in front of something good ? Is the fear getting you to prepare yourself for something that isn't there ?
When you come to the point where it all gets more close, when jokes are told on each-others expense, when worries, suggestions and thoughts are received. The fear might start to question; Are these coming from a good place? Will they break you, push and hold you down....Or respectfully hug you, and let you keep all your air ?
When I'm treated with love, I'm not sure, when I find myself trusting, I doubt. When my heart fills with love.. I cry.
I'm afraid of letting myself feel comfort, because what if it all might break? I cry because I´m afraid to make another mistake. And when I then get that feeling of comfort and love beneath my chest, I worry that its that same old spell, that ones not so long ago, made me fall into the closest I've been to hell.
So how can I trust my inner compass ? How do I trust that I'm not under that spell, How do I know when my emotions for the past are interfering with the present and how do I know when that fear is in reason ? I'm not sure how to get a hold of this mess, But as I`ve written before, giving it time and not rushing, is certainly something that can help you get a stronger foundation in trusting that inner voice.
Be thankful of what the past has though you, but don't let it take over your present,
Live and Love and Listen with Courage <3
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