The two I love yous

Before I move over to the next things I felt like clearing up the I love yous in my last post, from the other kind. Theres all kinds of love out there, and two meanings (that I can think of ) for the words I love you. 

Firstly-  theres the unconditional love we have for others. The kind of I love you that should be found and expressed in our relationships with those we care about. The kind of love that doesn't need us to be a part of the math. Its our genuine love, for them, as they are, its our wish to see them happy. In my last post I played with that idea a little- talking about someone I yet didn't know- or never might get to know, if thats how the cards would play out. But I cant help it, thinking about their happiness makes me happy, thankful. It may sound strange.. and maybe in that case I am, and will be proudly. But I do not think I am the only single out there thinking of that person and all the things we wished we could tell them, all the things we wished someone would tell us... wished them all the best. 

(and NO- if it got unclear- I do not burst out I love you to those I care about (okey maybe girlfriends), best example being male friends or former close people, drifters (men...) that are still in my thoughts..... in today's deep world of " should I say X or XX". I love you- unconditionally, would have them running faster then dinosaurs at night)


Then theres the romantic love, the sharing and hoping for something in return. The wait before we say the words to them `I Love You`... now this might have gotten you a bit confused.. I just confused myself a bit. But what I mean is the movie rose-pedal will you build a family with me and take on all of me- kind of love. Im ready for you- are you ready for me ? Im willing to give myself to you- but will you treat me kindly ? Can you Carry me if I fall ? ...Will you... and I mean will you really.. and completely with all the shit that may tumble on our road love me back ? 

That is the question, the statement,.. that could leave us with receiving only our echoing voice from the walls in response.

Its a vulnerable position to be in. 

So take your time until you hand on heart and mind believe its right, 

Because friend, you shouldn't be left hanging. 

This I love you is a two way stream.

(and if you decide to speak it out remember this; not only are you vulnerable- but with this action you carry alot of responsibility. Do you truly mean what you say ? Will you keep loving them- or after reciprocal- will the flames fade away ? Look into the words you use wisely, they are no moves in a temporary game) 


I do not say those words easily... in fact I haven't in years.. the more years I gather (and apparently rolling towards 79, a cane, a hill with a view and Morgan Freeman narrating..) the harder it gets.  

So before saying I love you and hoping for them to feel the same,- I have this additional message of love to say;

 
Love is complicated, on that I can bet- but the more we learn to see the different kinds of love around us the less heartbreaking - and breathless it gets. Something similar to the unconditional love that can be felt for others, can (in my opinion) be sought out and found within ourselves. (maybe a third kind of I love you can be explored here..) To love ourselves no matter what, through all the lifes failures, not letting that first downputting voice take over, no self hatred, no shame, no anger- but loving acceptance, learning and eventually- building. 

The more we build our own foundation.. the harder it is to make us fall. We can give a piece of ourselves without losing it all. If a piece comes and fills us from someone else we can be thankful that it ended up this way. But even if that piece of us was left on the sidewalk.. with nothing in return.. we have the strength and love.. to pick it up.. put it back within us and keep walking. Love will come, and even if it sometimes feels like its isn't enough, love is here. Right where you are standing. 


Hope this gave some further clarity