Alright, its hotter here then in a pepper`s belly, but im going to really try to write something now. Im sure I`ve mentioned this before in some way- and I have a feeling I wrote something along these thoughts a few years ago when I first started this blog, but thoughts evolve- or at least does the vibe in my writing (hopefully) so I decided to give this a go. Get my creative spirit going when all I want to do is melt. But no more excuses, I sort of breathe for this.
First of all, am I the only one whos brain goes crazy hazy and shoots up to a 1000 when hearing a guy im casually dating say certain words, Do you want kids ? We see a volvo, a backyard, a family picnic, kids running down green fields with the dog like its Sound of Music, a proud look on a husbands face as he fixed the baseboard falling out of the wall and finally- Spagetti Bolognese.
Okey maybe not in that specific order (or Specifically those things.. but you get my point)
And then one day (like for example when we realise that we might have to move away, cuting the dating short) we (me) get afraid (a rush) that the thing that never really started, but could have, is now- if we dont say something- forever left behind. A photo montage and a need to throw life lines enters our crazy hazy mind.
If boys only knew how even just the word-drops make us (or is it just me?) tick, even if we in our rational state know that things should, and can- wait. Besides, there is no way on earth knowing if This is it, yet.
The road to that could take a year or two,(and just so you know) Im not as crazy hazy as they might assume. And only after that- are we on that check-list; girlfriend status, meeting parents, moving in, marrige and kids. And no this is not a one weeks grocery list. In slow steps they might follow, long after the hazyness caused by the pre- said words has loosened its grip. Once I see this, you, us, for what It really is. If you only knew how your word dropping makes my eyes go blind. I cant see whats infront of me- you, me, our lives. You are somewhere, and I am here, you might not actually be ready- shake it off and I see it clear.
On the other hand, we shouldnt be too hard on them here either (its not their nesting hormones buzzing after all..) they are allowed to just talk.. And this really isnt their fault.
Im mean he`s supposed to be allowed to say that he does housework (right ?), and how else is he going to let me know (and I get it confirmed) that he does that ?
But, just saying, a crazy hazy buzz will be taking over this train.
I get high on these fumes so fast and easy, yet I wouldnt listen to or want to hear to the words I love you - before I really know they meant it, and I wouldnt say it to them. Love, real real love takes time to grow and blossom. There is so much we need to see and learn before we know its true.
Now I can see a volvo in the distance, with some spagetti bolognese on the side, but its not you driving, I cant see that far in neither of our lives.
But the future is there, in the distance, with someone that makes me smile.
All I know is- I will be fine.
First of all, am I the only one whos brain goes crazy hazy and shoots up to a 1000 when hearing a guy im casually dating say certain words, Do you want kids ? We see a volvo, a backyard, a family picnic, kids running down green fields with the dog like its Sound of Music, a proud look on a husbands face as he fixed the baseboard falling out of the wall and finally- Spagetti Bolognese.
Okey maybe not in that specific order (or Specifically those things.. but you get my point)
And then one day (like for example when we realise that we might have to move away, cuting the dating short) we (me) get afraid (a rush) that the thing that never really started, but could have, is now- if we dont say something- forever left behind. A photo montage and a need to throw life lines enters our crazy hazy mind.
If boys only knew how even just the word-drops make us (or is it just me?) tick, even if we in our rational state know that things should, and can- wait. Besides, there is no way on earth knowing if This is it, yet.
The road to that could take a year or two,(and just so you know) Im not as crazy hazy as they might assume. And only after that- are we on that check-list; girlfriend status, meeting parents, moving in, marrige and kids. And no this is not a one weeks grocery list. In slow steps they might follow, long after the hazyness caused by the pre- said words has loosened its grip. Once I see this, you, us, for what It really is. If you only knew how your word dropping makes my eyes go blind. I cant see whats infront of me- you, me, our lives. You are somewhere, and I am here, you might not actually be ready- shake it off and I see it clear.
On the other hand, we shouldnt be too hard on them here either (its not their nesting hormones buzzing after all..) they are allowed to just talk.. And this really isnt their fault.
Im mean he`s supposed to be allowed to say that he does housework (right ?), and how else is he going to let me know (and I get it confirmed) that he does that ?
But, just saying, a crazy hazy buzz will be taking over this train.
I get high on these fumes so fast and easy, yet I wouldnt listen to or want to hear to the words I love you - before I really know they meant it, and I wouldnt say it to them. Love, real real love takes time to grow and blossom. There is so much we need to see and learn before we know its true.
Now I can see a volvo in the distance, with some spagetti bolognese on the side, but its not you driving, I cant see that far in neither of our lives.
But the future is there, in the distance, with someone that makes me smile.
All I know is- I will be fine.
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