They told me to stop angering it (your otherwise closed up mood) but it turns out that it was excactly what was needed for us to get to its roots. You bottled up all the pain, never let them hear it.. just went along with anything that made you grind your teeth, you never spoke up about how the world and words around you makes you feel- not even to me... before it was all bottled up and rolled out in hopeless frustration and anxiety.. will you ever be heard for what you need, can anyone understand how painful the daily rejection feels ?
But you bottled up, went along. Even if it made you gringe just to be forced to listen to the radio.. ADD childhood/school trauma triggering sounds go on.
Let them know, and just how hurtful it makes you feel, and let them know about the triggering pain caused by RSD.
They can not know what they can not see.
Same goes for any feeling of not beeing heard or seen, explain how it hurts if you feel like an action or comment is mean.
I promise you, no one who loves you wants to hurt you for real.
Your diagnosis makes you hyper sensitive about things (feelings), they hit you harder than others, and you need to acknowledge that. Read about it, learn- talk to the ones around you and we will get to know what you need in return.
But remember that it is only a perception, stop yourself before you re-act. Do not let your emotions take the upper hand. Do your very best to learn a constructive way to act. Take the time you need to get there, but for now just start to open up to yourself. Also, despite your pain, know that the world around you will keep on moving like before, but that no one who loves you (most of the time) ever meant to hurt you at all.
Something I wrote you after our very eye-opening heart to heart/mind to mind chat yesterday;
Thought of the day; if an activity or listening to a music genre/radio etc makes you grind your teeth. Say it. Say it right away. And then learn to say it in a nice way. Say that it gives you a headache and when you are forced to do/listen to it it makes you feel rejected :)
You feel rejection and other inner emotions much stronger than others. So express it instead of botteling it up.
Don't become a people pleaser and suffer. Express so that we know :)
Then as that goes on we won't force you, and you will stop automatically 'going along' in something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
And we will appreciate you more when you do 'go along '.
Then it is also easier to understand just how important it is to return the favour to you-> doing and enjoying something you like.
You feel rejection and other inner emotions much stronger than others. So express it instead of botteling it up.
Don't become a people pleaser and suffer. Express so that we know :)
Then as that goes on we won't force you, and you will stop automatically 'going along' in something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
And we will appreciate you more when you do 'go along '.
Then it is also easier to understand just how important it is to return the favour to you-> doing and enjoying something you like.
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